It’s a beautiful autumnal morning, the sun’s shining amid blue skies, the birds are singing ... and I’m going to jail.
But only for the morning as part of the tour for potential candidates to join the prison workforce in Dumfries.
Driving along Terregles Street it was a strange feeling turning left and away from Palmerston instead of right towards the football ground.
Then pulling up outside the jail the first thing that struck me was the sheer size of the red sandstone building ... and the massive amount of razor wire which laced the top of fences and brickwork.
It was just after 10am and before the people seeking a job arrived, there was an unusual “jail break” when I saw a butterfly flutter through the circles of the wire from behind the perimeter fence then dance across the front of the building to freedom.
A glance to the right and a set of Palmerston’s floodlights stood above the roofs of Terregles Street houses underlining the huge difference between a day at the football and a morning behind bars.
The group gathered in a foyer and, after undergoing an airport-style security check, it was time for a brief talk from Governor Andrew Hunstone.
He outlined the history of the building and its two add-ons over the years and how it’s known locally as Jessiefield due to the old tradition of a site being named after the farmer’s daughter.
Next up was the statement that HMP Dumfries is a very safe environment and that none of us should worry. However, for me that sparked the same nervous tension in the bottom of my stomach as the words “fasten your seat belts” on a plane before being battered by turbulence.
We eased down several flights of stairs which led to the reception area where a prisoner is “booked in” following sentencing. It has a clinical, almost medical appearance, and Stuart Pomfret, head of offenders outcomes, explained about the first interaction between the prison officer and new inmate.
Just as he was beginning his talk a prison officer at the rear of the group slammed the heavy door behind us followed by a very audible turning of keys. It was an unnerving moment.
Mr Pomfret aptly described the feeling for the prisoner arriving at this area for the first time as that “his life is destroyed” and how important it was for the first prison officer he meets to interact with him immediately.
He said: “We then make sure we have a warrant and legally his liberty is taken off him. Next we start taking things from you such as jewellery although some things are entitled to be kept.
“Then you take all your clothes off.”
He explained the strip search would take place next and I must confess that a certain part of my anatomy was twitching like a rabbit’s nose.
An uncomfortable air descended on the group at seeing up close how a man is stripped of his clothes and liberty within minutes of entering the institution and how his new life is going to unfold.
The tour continued through various areas which were immaculately clean and an unusual feature on corridor walls was the artwork of inmates including a stunning painting of the Devorgilla Bridge. Following a look at the work and education areas, plus the impressive garden, it was time to leave and back into the welcoming sunshine.