CONTENT WARNING: This article discusses child sexual abuse.
Two months after revealing his past as a child sexual abuse survivor in the Quiet On Set: The Dark Side Of Kids TV docuseries, Drake Bell is ready to open up further.
In a tell-all interview with Katie Snow for US morning show Today, Bell explained that he wanted to share his story and participate in the documentary series for the sake of his three-year-old son despite being terrified of the ramifications.
“I could’ve either allowed this to destroy me, or make me stronger for him,” the 37-year-old explained.
“What’s the story that he’s going to get? Is somebody else going to tell him my story, or am I going to be around to tell him and share my story? I could’ve either allowed this to destroy me, or make me stronger for him.”
Bravely, through the documentary series, he revealed to the world that he had suffered sexual abuse at the lands of former Nickelodeon voice coach Brian Peck. Peck was arrested and charged in 2003, after Bell revealed to his mother what had been going on.
Peck pleaded no contest to two charges, including a lewd act upon a child 14 or 15 by a person 10 years older, and oral copulation of a person under 16, according to court documents.
The docuseries also included other Nickelodeon children and employees who stated allegations of misconduct against Nickelodeon’s big dog Dan Schneider.
In his latest interview, Bell has revealed more details of what he endured.
“The things that were happening to me were so — it’s a big word — but gruesome,” Bell explained thoughtfully.
“Not only is it really difficult to speak about and to put into words, but I’m also not really in an environment where I think [the documentary producers] would want to put that on national television. It’s too graphic.”
Bell also reflected on a painting that his abuser had in his living room which was allegedly a gift from serial killer John Wayne Gacy, who murdered at least 33 men and boys in the 1970s.
“Things were happening to me in a room, where there’s a painting by one of the most prolific serial killers who preyed on young boys, staring at me. So that puts into my mind, ‘How far is this really going to go? How far can this go?’” he said.
“The fear goes into, ‘am I going to make it out of this room?’”
Despite his experience as a child actor, he wouldn’t necessarily stop his son from pursuing acting in future. After all, he tells the program that when he wasn’t experiencing abuse, the set was his “escape”.
“It’s so hard to just immediately say no, because even though I endured unspeakable things, there were such amazing moments, there were such amazing experiences,” he says.
“I struggle with the bad. But then, the good that I’ve experienced and the way that entertainment touches lives, and how we’re moved by the stories that we tell and that we hear and that we watch. It’s a very fine line.”
For Bell, speaking out about his trauma has been a cathartic experience that has helped him reconnect with his younger self.
“I’m able to go back to him and hold him,” Bell explains.
“‘You’re going to have tribulation, you’re going to have triumph, and you’re going to have tribulation again. But just know that we get through it. I’m here to tell you, we get through it. And now I’m in a place where I can go back and I can hold your hand and I can walk you through the fire. And we get out on the other side.’”
Help is available.
If you require immediate assistance, please call 000.
If you’d like to speak to someone about sexual violence, please call the 1800 Respect hotline on 1800 737 732 or chat online.
Under 25? You can reach Kids Helpline at 1800 55 1800 or chat online.
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