MY stress levels were already dangerously high when I arrived home to watch FMQs.
Top tip: don’t schedule a driving lesson to immediately precede an hour of Holyrood politicians shouting at each other.
There is probably a comparison to be drawn between the experience of driving around a dangerous roundabout with no idea where you’re meant to be going, and the current state of our politics, but to be honest, I’m too frazzled to make it.
Before the session began, a group of climate protesters threw red paint over the Scottish Parliament building.
At this point, I’m not sure bringing awareness to the climate emergency is actually doing us any favours.
Ignorance is bliss and we could all do with some of that right about now.
I’d be quite happy to hand control of the planet and the fate of humankind over to our far smarter chimpanzee cousins. I wonder if that’s a referendum the UK government could get on board with. Probably not: I’ve seen Planet of the Apes, the pampered Tories wouldn’t last two minutes.
Douglas Ross asked, once again, about the ferries fiasco and even managed a good line out of it. Fair play. It’s only taken him six months.
"Only a party that bought a campervan for £100k could think that paying hundreds of millions of pounds for two massively delayed ferries is a good deal’’ he said.
He went on: "We all know from the scandal engulfing the SNP that they really struggle with finances, but this is getting ridiculous."
This is a prime example of somebody not quitting while they’re ahead.
The campervan quip worked. It was timely and moderately amusing. But he had to go and ruin it with the direct jibe about SNP finances, setting the First Minister up with the opportunity for a riposte about the Tories, which he duly seized.
"I’m not sure I’d take too many lessons on financial literacy from the party of Kwasi Kwarteng and Liz Truss’’ replied the First Minister.
It was a comeback that his backbenchers appreciated and clearly needed, as beforehand the SNP rows had been looking decidedly gloomy.
Douglas Ross seemed keen to keep the merriment going, and to that end, he produced a photographic prop, much to the delight of his own backbenchers.
The Presiding Officer wasn’t too pleased though, as she interrupted to remind members that props are not allowed in the chamber.
Mores the pity I say. Funny hats and colourful inflatables would at least liven things up a bit.
Douglas Ross went on to say that that the SNP is ‘’engulfed in scandal, secrecy and a shameful waste of money…this is all starting to look like an episode of Line of Duty’’
Humza Yousaf hit back at the Scottish Tory leader, accusing him of "schoolboy tactics" that were a "sign of his desperation’’.
He concluded: "Douglas Ross doesn’t practice what he preaches – he hasn’t released his membership figures.
"There’s a word for people who don’t practice what they preach; they’re called hypocrites."
