Here at Mirror Motorcycling Global HQ, we feel it’s crucial to keep your minds sharp, mostly since ours aren’t, so here’s this week’s quiz.
Which of the following was a jolly good decision?
a) Japanese PM Tōjō Hideki: Let’s bomb Pearl Harbour. What can possibly go wrong?
b) Abraham Lincoln: Hey, Mary, that new play Our American Cousin at Ford's Theatre looks to die for.
c) Gerald Ratner: Listen, what do you think would happen if I said that our jewellery’s crap?
d) Ducati boss Claudio Castiglioni: Here, what about getting that Miguel Galluzzi to design our next bike?
The answer, as you’ll have guessed, possibly from the fact that this is a motorbike column, is d.
Browse more than 19,000 new and used bikes for sale at Autotrader.co.uk/bikes
Designed in 1993 on Galluzzi’s principle that all a bike needs is a saddle, tank, engine, two wheels and handlebars, the Monster was the bike that saved Ducati, with over 350,000 sold since then with engine sizes ranging from 696 to 1200cc, representing over half of the company’s output.
No pressure, then for the latest 937cc incarnation, and the first shock is that Ducati’s ditched the iconic red trellis frame which was a Monster trademark since Galluzzi first picked up his pencil.
Still, that and various other tweaks have reduced the weight from the previous Monster 821 a whopping 18kg to 188kg, which with 111bhp on tap promised a spritely ride.
I’d just been riding the big Multistrada V4 S, and climbing on board the Monster after that, it felt like a toy. I had to check there actually was a bike under there before I started up, since there’s nothing worse than riding off on a bike that isn’t there.
The seating position is compact and sporty, but at least the high, wide bars mean you’re not doing a Quasimodo impersonation.
The mirrors, rather weirdly, are adjustable horizontally but not vertically, so taller riders may find that all they get is a view of the road beside the rear tyre.
The 4.3in TFT screen is tiny compared with the Multistrada’s 6.5in offering, but as in all Ducati screens, is a masterpiece of design, with all you need to know there at a glance, including the riding modes, Touring, Sport or Urban, the latter of which cuts the power to 74bhp.
And of course, being from Italy, it looks fantastic.
So it may feel like a toy compared to the Multistrada, but like all toys, and indeed Monsters, what fun it is.
Even in Touring mode, the engine complains below 3,000rpm, but after 4,000rpm pulls as enthusiastically as a Labrador puppy all the way to maximum power at 9,250rpm, then tails off slightly to the redline at 10,000rpm, although there’s no point thrashing it that far, since with maximum torque at 6,500rpm, there’s more than enough grunt in the midrange for seamless overtaking.
The quickshifter’s as slick going up the gears and down as a Mississippi card sharp, and on the way down joins forces with the autoblipper to produce a delicious symphony of pops and barps from the exhaust.
Handling, with the head angle steepened by seven degrees for more precision, is hilariously instinctive, so that you feel you’re just thinking your way around corners rather than actually steering the bike, and the tiny screen is hilarious in a different way, being completely pointless to anyone but a leprechaun.
Right, time to switch from Touring to Sport mode, and although Aaron back at the dealers had shown me how to do this, naturally I’d forgotten immediately, and it took several minutes of random button pressing before I managed it, although I’m still not sure how.
Anyway, it was worth it, for what had been fun was now plain thrilling.
This is now the only version of the Monster available, and while it may have lost its famous trellis, it’s kept everything that made it such a great little bike.
* Test bike supplied by Millsport Motors millsportmotorcycles.com
Sam’s fabulous friends
What do you do if you’ve loads of friends all over the world who share your passion?
If you’re Sam Manicom, the answer is obvious – get them to write a book.
The result is The Moment Collectors, a great collection by adventure bikers, including Sam himself, and indeed, yours truly, of their memorable moments.
Sam needs no introduction to readers of bike adventure books. Three months after learning to ride, he set off to ride the length of Africa, and was still going eight years and 55 countries later.
The result was four great books, and a lifelong relationship with fellow biker Birgit Schünemann.
Like all bikers, the ones who wrote this book went through the same emotions – first fear at going, not helped by their friends who said things like: “Africa/Mexico/Colombia/Skegness is incredibly dangerous. You’ll be murdered on the first day.”
And then being overwhelmed by the incredible friendliness and generosity of everyone they met en route.
Read it and have your heart warmed, and maybe inspired to head off down the road yourself. Do it, and you won’t regret it. Don’t, and you always will.
It’s £13.99 paperback, £7.34 Kindle from Amazon.
