The phrase "national period of mourning" entered the public vocabulary overnight. When I hear the phrase, I picture huddled masses standing in shopping centres and high streets as they heard the news of the Queen's passing, and then seeing, wherever they go, messages to commemorate the life of an extraordinary monarch.
Among those images, I also picture fans standing in football grounds around the country, emotional audiences at the theatre and communities in towns and villages stood silently bearing witness to a once-in-a-lifetime moment in history. I do not picture these same people being sat silently at home after being told that "mourning" means "doing nothing, on your own."
A wave of event cancellations swept across many different aspects of life this weekend - with the Last Night of the Proms, the Premier League and EFL football and council-run events across the UK called off. Ultimately, by calling off these events, we're making three mistakes.
READ MORE: The events cancelled or still going ahead after the Queen's death
Firstly, we're telling people how to grieve. There's not a definition of mourning. Everyone does it differently; mourning a relative is different to mourning a monarch and people have very different relationships with the Queen and the monarchy.
You, individually, may not want to do much to mourn Queen Elizabeth, and may find it frustrating that the cancellations are telling you what to do. You may be one of the Queen's many admirers and wish to participate in events like the Proms which, had they gone ahead, would no doubt have doubled up as emotional celebrations of her life.
England Rugby took a move that stood out from much of the sporting world by deciding to let games go ahead. The statement released sums up the potential power these large events can have in times of upheaval: "Rugby, at its heart, is about community and bringing people together, in good times and in sad. Rugby clubs are a source of strength and support during times of uncertainty, and we hope that by enabling games and other rugby activity to go ahead this weekend, with families and friends congregating it will help us all to unite at this time of national mourning."
When Ironman Wales organisers said they were "awaiting further information" from the UK government about potentially cancelling the event (before thankfully deciding to go ahead), people who hoped to attend made some very fair points. One said: "Think about how many athletes are running in memory of lost loved ones. We see their images printed on t-shirts while they are running and hear their stories on the finish line late in the day. Think of how many people take part to raise money for charities and organisations that have looked after their loved ones during their tough days and their last days, whether being 96 or even more sadly six years old.
"Death is something that will be affecting some athletes and supporters far more directly than in comparison to losing our monarch. They chose to celebrate the life of their loved ones by actually doing something positive. This event must go ahead and make it a massive celebration with wonderful memories of the time and not with memories of anger."
By imposing a strict definition of 'mourning means being solemn and quiet' we're sending a message out that there's only one way to reflect on the Queen's life and only one way to behave in light of her death, which insults the public's intelligence.
Our second mistake is missing out on a massive opportunity for meaningful moments that'll go down in history. West Ham fans sang an impromptu rendition of God Save the Queen before their Europa Conference League game on Thursday night, which happened too close to the time of the Queen's passing to be cancelled.
Another commenter on the Ironman Facebook page pointed out: "In years to come if I'm asked 'What did you do to honour the Queen?' it would be so much nicer to say 'I stood on a Welsh beach at dawn and had a minute's silence with hundreds of athletes and spectators before taking on the gruelling Ironman,' rather than 'Ironman got cancelled so I stayed at home and watched Netflix.'"
If we allowed people to gather at the events they'd planned on going to, they'd be punctuated by minutes of silence, black armbands and solemn tributes which would mean a great deal more than deciding not to go altogether.
The third mistake - and the biggest - is cancelling the plans, at a day's notice or less, of people who have shelled out their hard-earned cash for a bit of enjoyment during one of the biggest cost of living crises we've ever seen. Norwich City fans, for example, found out late on Thursday evening that their Friday night away game against Burnley was cancelled. Norwich and Burnley are not next door to each other. People have booked train tickets and hotels, taken time off work and prepared themselves to travel up and down the country - angering them does nobody any good. People travel from around the world to watch Premier League games in person. People will have been training with enormous levels of commitment for Ironman for a year, at least.
Yes, some of the cancellations will be down to the redistribution of police resources - something we saw in the cancellation of the Tour of Britain's final stages.
Legoland closed on Friday. Why? Would anybody planning on going to Legoland be offended that it stayed open following the Queen's death? And if so, wouldn't they just choose to stay at home? What about the people — and there were loads of them in the replies to the tweet announcing the closure — who'd planned for weeks to take their kids to Legoland for a birthday party? What's the point and who does this serve?
I don't want to come across as sounding heartless or insensitive, because I truly believe a period of national mourning could be one of the iconic moments in modern British history. But if it's not done in the right way, you lose people completely.
If you want people to mourn the Queen (which millions across the country will) don't tell them how to do it. Let the UK continue on through the mourning period, as the Queen did so often through troubling times in her life, and let us find our own way to reflect on her reign and her remarkable life.
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