Dr Mine And Paul Whitehouse have revealed the 'key' to their happy marriage during an appearance on Lorraine and it has divided fans of the show - but new research suggests it could really improve many people's relationships.
We're always looking for ways to spice up our relationship and wonder how to revive romance, especially when you’ve been together for a long time. And it seems that Dr Mine And Paul Whitehouse have found the key, though it's a little unexpected.
Appearing on Lorraine to chat about their new podcast I'm ADHD! No You're Not, in which they meet with guests to chat about ADHD and navigating life, marriage, and relationships when you're diagnosed with it, they revealed that while they've been together for 20 years now, and married for five, they don't live together.
"It does [work]," Dr Mine said. "Do you know how many guests [on the podcast] come up to me after and say, 'Do you really live apart? I would love that!' Or [they say], 'We do that and it works for us'."
But there's one particular reason why Dr Mine and Paul live apart, and it goes beyond just a simple need for space. Dr Mine explained, "With the ADHD, my sensory needs to his are completely different, and to my daughter's. I need lights on all the time. I need noise and I mean 24/7. It's not enough to have the radio on. I've also got rave mixes, gospel anthems, but it's all at once. And [Paul] walks in and he's like 'Blimey!'"
"She's a lot of fun," Paul joked, adding, "You only want a bit of peace and quiet." So, by living apart, both Dr Mine and Paul have their needs fulfilled and arguments are avoided while Paul is in his quiet home and Dr Mine is in her rowdy one! As Dr Mine said, "There's no blueprint," especially when it comes to marriage. You have to find what works best for you - Even if, as Paul said, "A lot of people sort of prick up their ears and gasp," when they find out about their living arrangements.
But, while it might seem out of the ordinary to most, new research has revealed that living apart might actually be the best thing married couples can do. As Lorraine pointed out, "There was actually something last week saying that the key to a happy marriage is separate toilets, separate bathrooms, separate bedrooms - but you've taken it to a whole new level."
Lorraine is right, plenty of research conducted across the years has found that couples are increasingly choosing to 'sleep divorce,' meaning they sleep apart to prioritise their own sleep patterns and quality.
In one study conducted by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, they found that sleeping apart helps couples to avoid common sleep disturbances like snoring, insomnia, differing sleep schedules, and restlessness, all of which can lead to fatigue and relationship tension.
Speaking about the study, Dr. Seema Khosla, a pulmonologist and spokesperson for the AASM, said, “We know that poor sleep can worsen your mood, and those who are sleep deprived are more likely to argue with their partners. There may be some resentment toward the person causing the sleep disruption which can negatively impact relationships."
It doesn't sound like such a radical move to sleep, or even live, apart to avoid those negative impacts when they're laid out like that, does it? In fact, it makes a lot of sense.
But still, fans of Lorraine were divided over Paul and Dr Mine's arrangement. "Whatever floats your boat but it is really weird in my view," one wrote on Instagram, while another shared, "I live apart from my husband [and] have done for years due to his job. I get the obvious 'Do you trust him? How do you know what his getting up to?' We been together [for] 30 years, married for 25. His answer is 'I have enough to handle with one wife!' It works for us. I love him actually more each day."
