THE DUMP at Wallsend is the jewel in Newcastle's crown.
That's according to Newcastle's lord mayor Nuatali Nelmes, who sang both the praises of the tip and the future strategy for waste management at last week's ordinary CoN meeting held in the legacy council chambers. Her enthusiasm from the coveted wooden throne was eagerly backed by deputy lord mayor Declan Clausen.
"... to repeat your line, Summerhill is absolutely the jewel in Newcastle's crown," said the aspirant lord commander in a display designed to showboat the unity of House Labor. Councillor Clausen said this was all about control of "our waste destiny". Sound the trumpets.
A CoN episode of Game of Thrones in the chamber! I was waiting for mention of dragons that could burn all the rubbish at the dump like the handy but deadly backyard incinerators in the 1970s. Ah, the heady creation of black, toxic smoke plumes that helpfully identified the kiddies weak of lung to the local medico without the expensive tests.
The jewel in Newcastle's crown is the dump? Take that Shelbyville. Can you imagine Lake Mac mayor Kay Fraser referring to the Awaba dump as the jewel in the crown of Lake Mac? Probably not, because Lake Mac has Lake Macquarie, which might trump-a-dump as far as a jewel in the Lake Mac crown goes. But it wouldn't be without contest. The Herald reported last month that "Speers Point pool, opened in 1963, is set to be the jewel in the crown..."
In these more enlightened times, one doesn't refer to the places where we ditch the stuff that doesn't bring us joy as the dump or the tip. We now discuss dumps and tips as Waste Management Facilities. Just as HR is now People & Culture, and PR is Communication & Marketing, the Wallsy dump is now the Summerhill Wamafa.
The former national pastime of bare footed, free-range scabbin' at the dump by the bored and the broke was banned by rubbish management authorities decades ago. Something to do with a fear of tetanus or risk and liability insurance or some other nanny-state protections that make us soft as a nation and ripe for communist takeover.
Today's kids will never know that fearful feeling when coming home to a Mum on the warpath because Dad has brought home more dump stuff than he hauled out there in a rust-ridden box trailer just three hours earlier.
The Summerhill Wanafa wasn't the only time 'jewel in the crown' got a mention at the last CoN meeting. While endorsing that the draft Harbour Foreshore master plan go on public exhibition, Labor councillor Peta Winney-Baartz told the chamber "I think the debate as to whether Summerhill is the jewel in our crown or whether Harbour Foreshore is the jewel in our crown is for another night...I'm not taking on that one." Careful manoeuvring within House Labor or indecisive waffle?
Did this comment publicly announce the split in House Labor - over what must be rightfully acknowledged according to custom and tradition as the real jewel in the crown of Newcastle - that its enemies had so long desired? House Green councillor John Mackenzie, whose alliance with House Labor cannot be relied upon absolutely (if House Green ever gets its own renewable dragons, your diesel HiLux is toast) rose in the chamber to openly challenge House Labor's arguments over the legitimate jewel in Newcastle's crown.
"I think it's important in this context to talk about Darby Street, which of course is the jewel in the crown of the City of Newcastle." Undoubtedly, August's toiletgate incident - involving Knights players sharing a Hotel Delany dunny cubicle - brought Darby Street to the attention of an otherwise non-caring world.
To item 30 on the CoN's agenda. When discussing residential EV charging, House Labor's Carol Duncan said that "... I'm really looking forward to seeing, in fact, our EV capacity in this city becoming the true jewel in the crown of this local government area".
The "true" jewel? Clearly, House Labor is savagely divided within over what the real, authentic, true, dead-set, absolute jewel in Newcastle's crown rightfully is and rightfully should be.
And the debate exists beyond the chamber. Charlestown correspondent Trevor Reeve ('Progress slow on city's great landmarks', Letters, 29/9) pointed out that Newcastle Post Office "should be the jewel in the crown of Newcastle's East End" but progress is disappointingly slow. Too right, Trevor.
Newcastle. One crown, many jewels.
