Dinner parties used to be about perfectly puffed souffles, a nice bottle of wine and curating a group of friends and acquaintances who each have as many valid points to make about elections as electronic music. They were a sophisticated way to introduce friends who might get on, or even get together – and a chance to potentially endear your boss to you away from the office and its politics.
Now, however, all that sounds like a ceremony from a bygone era – one ruthlessly satirised by Mike Leigh in his 1977 play Abigail’s Party. Even Nigella Lawson, previously the monarch of domestic hosting, declared last year that she rarely hosts extravagant dinner parties anymore.
But far from being dead and buried, the dinner party is back, according to the experts, only this time with a thoroughly modern makeover for a new generation.
According to a recent Waitrose Cooking Report, more than a third of the respondents said that “dinner party” was an old-fashioned term. Dig beneath the crust of Lawson’s comments and it becomes clear that she doesn’t actually mean she never has dinner parties, rather that they are smaller affairs than the lavish soirees she once hosted, often involving two or three people rather than a people carrier’s worth. She keeps things more casual, offering Twiglets for a starter, for instance. Because dinner parties, if we call them that at all, are becoming more casual.
This is partly prompted by the rise of midweek dinner parties which, according to a recent survey by Ocado and Savanta ComRes, are making a comeback thanks to an uptick in numbers of people working from home. A different kind of cooking is now doable midweek.
“It’s easier to put a complex recipe, like a stew or a beef bourguignon, on and let that cook for hours in the kitchen, while you’re working from home,” says Tristan Welch, a hospitality consultant and chef who helps food and service-based businesses in the cost-of-living crisis.
Casual doesn’t have to mean low effort. On TikTok, Gen Z have fancified the idea of popping round to a friend’s for a bowl of pasta with lots of aesthetically pleasing setups. The platform is full of videos of twentysomethings laying car boot-sourced table clothes and pastel-hued candles in preparation for drinking Aperols with pals over penne.
The shift might, thinks Welch, be in part down to the rise in the cost of living: “Friends are choosing to dine at home rather than dining out in a restaurant. If you can afford the time and headspace required, it’s cheaper.”
Rosie Kellett, chef, food writer and supper club host, thinks the current mood for dinner parties runs deeper, too. “We are in the midst of multiple crises; a climate crisis, a cost-of-living crisis, a housing crisis etc and what this ultimately has led to, in my opinion, is a community crisis. We are all craving community, in one way or another, and coming together to share a meal is the ultimate way to experience that.” Living in a warehouse, she documents her adventures in communal cooking and eating on Instagram. Dinner parties offer a chance to get creative. For people whose algorithm daily bombards them with content about crafting x out of y on Instagram but wonder when they’ll get a chance to try anything like it for themselves, a dinner party can be the perfect forum.
“Tablescaping” can be elaborate or involve a few mismatched plates from charity shops and foraged shrubbery from the park. For hosts it is a way to hang out with friends without having to step out into a wet January evening.
Post-pandemic, it makes sense that people would want to welcome loved ones in to share their spaces which, until relatively recently, were mandatorily private. “To be invited is a big thing in itself,” says Welch. “If you are invited to a dinner party you know they are fond of you and happy to share their home life.”
Of course for some, no matter the budget hacks or casualisation, barriers such as the size of your flat and food budgets mean that dinner parties will remain out of reach. According to research by Peerspace, which has been likened to Airbnb but for entertaining, 32% of consumers reported that not having enough space in the home to host was their primary reason for not having hosted a dinner party in the past 12 months.
But it is worth noting that dinner parties can be done relatively cheaply. “I firmly reject the idea that dinner parties are the preserve of the wealthy,” says Kellett, “although I can understand why they get that rep.” In her house, they each pay £25 a week into a kitty that covers all food costs – including having friends round for dinner once a week on average.
One way to make it cheaper is, she says, to be mostly vegetarian. “Cooking seasonally is another way to cut down on costs. If you use ingredients that are in season, grown locally, they are more available and ultimately more affordable.” Welch recommends using cheaper cuts of meat or vegetables in curries served with rice and homemade naan breads.
He also recommends serving homemade bread as part of a dinner party on a budget. “Warm in the middle of the table with some butter, dips and oils, even a few snacks to start with, it’s always lovely to break bread with friends.”
But Kellett’s biggest tip for throwing dinners on a budget is do it with your friends. “The more people involved, the more hands on deck, the more wallets to split the bill between.”
She has hosted dinners where everyone has “ended up sitting on the floor and eating out of Tupperwares, for lack of chairs and plates, but they were no less enjoyable than the big fancy supper clubs. Really it all boils down to community.”
