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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Zoe Williams

Dining across the divide: ‘We agreed that social media is terrible’

Asher (left) and Karim
Asher (left) and Karim. All photographs: Christopher Thomond/The Guardian. Photograph: Christopher Thomond/The Guardian
Asher

Asher, 21, Manchester

Occupation Student

Voting record Was Labour, now Green

Amuse bouche Helps run a student charity where they do sponsored hitchhikes all the way from, for example, Sheffield to Barcelona

Karim

Karim, 55, Alderley Edge, Cheshire

Occupation Barrister

Voting record Has always voted Labour, and has never wavered, “even though the party is rocking and rolling at the moment”

Amuse bouche Aged 15, he was a junior at Blackburn Rovers football club, and could have gone all the way had he not discovered guitars and girls

For starters

Asher I had the ribs, then fish and chips, and we shared fried courgettes and a rocket parmesan salad. Then I had a sticky toffee pudding. It was really tasty.

Karim Grilled halloumi, then the popcorn chicken burger. They were really lovely people in the restaurant.

Asher Karim was a really nice guy, we were a lot more similar that I thought we were going to be.

Karim He was on the brink of life, I felt very paternal towards him. I don’t know if he felt I was overbearing or condescending, but I wanted to say the world is your oyster – really, really grasp that. The only 21-year-olds I ever sit down with are my eldest daughter and people I represent in court who have had car accidents.

Asher and Karim

The big beef

Asher His viewpoint on colonialism was that it should be acknowledged but doesn’t need an apology. I said: “Why don’t you think it’s worth apologising for?” He said, well, it happened, and it happened a long time ago.

Karim I’m part-Egyptian, he’s Jewish. I said: “Do I need to apologise for what the pharaoh did to your people pre-Jesus? Where does it end?” On the day we met, there was an apology for Hillsborough, and that was right, but that’s this generation. When it’s not of this generation, when it’s 100-plus years ago, I think we should acknowledge it and move on.

Asher I was like, “Yeah, it was a long time ago, but people still live with memories of what their ancestors went through.” I’m Jewish, let’s take the Holocaust as an example: if Germany was suddenly blase, I’d be upset with that. The Holocaust indirectly still has an impact on me, through my family. Where is the line between an apology and an acknowledgment?

Karim I think state apologies are really gimmicks. We can recognise things have gone wrong, but what’s more important is radical redress and reparations, not empty gestures. Apologies could be more than that, but politicians are prone to empty gestures.

Asher and Karim

Sharing plate

Asher I think I won on the monarchy. They bring in a lot of money, and there are people in the UK who genuinely love the royal family, but I don’t think we should fund them. They generate so much by themselves without the state paying them. They have billions – they don’t need taxpayers’ money. Maybe we should look at how wealth is distributed.

Karim We may pay them a little too much, and they’re not perfect – they’re humans. But when it’s working, it’s great for the UK. The Queen was noble, respectable, above criticism. But where there’s silliness – certainly on the part of Harry – if it’s going to break down, they’re not worth the money we give them, no.

Asher and Karim

For afters

Asher We both agreed that social media is terrible – it’s so addictive. I don’t really use it. I’ve got a bit of an addictive personality, so I used to spend all my time on it. I just can’t have that, so I got rid of it.

Karim He doesn’t do social media, which is fantastic. It’s a huge step backwards; an own goal. But since he doesn’t engage with that, he probably doesn’t see the pressures of cancel culture. Wokeness is great, but it’s not a competition.

Asher I feel like the problems he talks about are pretty localised. In real life, I’ve never really had a big falling out. I’ve never seen people kicking off over a comment. People are less confrontational in the real world.

Asher and Karim

Takeaways

Karim He’s a really lovely guy, so polite. I wish him all the best. I think we’ll keep in touch.

Asher He’s a really sound guy. He gave advice on what I should do with my life, not in a prescriptive way, more like: “You’re still young, don’t worry.”

Asher and Karim

Additional reporting: Kitty Drake

Asher and Karim ate at The Laundrette in Manchester. Want to meet someone from across the divide? Find out how to take part

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