Toby, 52, London
Occupation Works for a medical cannabis company
Voting record Normally does not vote; thinks it’s a waste of time
Amuse bouche Visiting Afghanistan in the mid-90s, Toby was hijacked by two different mujahideen groups in a day
Mona, 50, Essex
Occupation Pharmacist
Voting record A staunch socialist, she has mainly backed Labour, with an inclination towards Green policies. Would be happy to vote Green tactically
Amuse bouche Has word-perfect recall for the musicals The Phantom of the Opera and Evita; could stretch to Jesus Christ Superstar
For starters
Mona Toby was quite disciplined in some ways. I was looking forward to sharing a bottle of something. And he said, “I don’t drink.”
Toby Mona was highly analytical, very engaged in her career in public health, and thoughtful. Those were my opening impressions. As we talked, I thought she was a little more fixed in her positions than she first appeared.
Mona I had the pumpkin ravioli and the affogato.
Toby I had arancini as a starter, a prawn gnocchi, and tiramisu to finish.
The big beef
Mona I’ve met lots of people who have been in the throes of addiction, and any help I can give them is just mitigation. The risk of relapse is high. Class A addiction is so powerful, and I’ve always considered cannabis to be a gateway drug. In Toby’s case, it wasn’t. I’ve always come away with an impression that people who take drugs must have gone through some intractable pain. There’s got to be some gap in their lives, because, otherwise, why would you take drugs?
Toby My line starts really at human rights: consenting adults in private should be able to introduce whatever substance they want into their own blood system. It’s not the government’s job to tell me what I can do, if I’m not harming anyone else. She said: “What about the smell?” I think she was OK with consenting adults doing what they want in private, and I was fairly OK with not troubling other people with it.
Mona I look at it from a scientific perspective: what’s the therapeutic indication, does it work? And, is it safe? When legal drugs come to market, there’s been a certain amount of exposure in patient groups. Cannabis, you don’t have that; you don’t know what’s in it.
Toby I tried another tack: if drugs are really bad and dangerous, and you would never take them, then why is it OK for the government to leave all of this to the unregulated market? If the government blanket bans cannabis, it can’t then say: “There’s no evidence for the benefits.” Well, of course there isn’t, because you’ve banned it. I hope that was a useful argument, but I don’t think she bought it. The “war on drugs” is a war on people.
Sharing plate
Mona I’ve actually been to the village in the Cotswolds where he grew up. He might as well have been in the middle of nowhere, and he still managed to get hold of drugs.
Toby I used to play rugby for my local club; I was really surprised she’d been there. I told her about my two friends, all of us public schoolboys, who started smoking at about 14.
For afters
Mona Toby told me a bit about his lineage, and he showed me a real conscience that I didn’t expect – his mother’s side of the family came from the empire.
Toby My mum was born on a tea estate in Sri Lanka. When I was young, in my delusion, I had it in my mind that I was going to right the wrongs of my forefathers.
Mona He certainly felt a burden of guilt around that, to the extent that he spent 10 years working for the UN.
Toby At one point, she said, “You’re the only white person I’ve ever met who thinks colonialism was an entirely bad idea.”
Takeaways
Mona He seemed like a really nice person, someone with a moral compass and a conscience, but when it came to cannabis, he thought decriminalisation would solve everything. I don’t see how it solves anything.
Toby It only came out halfway through. “I made a promise to myself,” she said, “that if whoever turned up smelt of any drugs, I had a plan to immediately leave.” I liked her, but she had some very core principles that she wasn’t going to be departing from.
Additional reporting: Kitty Drake
• Toby and Mona ate at Al Dente in London
Want to meet someone from across the divide? Find out how to take part
