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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Sam Wollaston

Dining across the divide: ‘I don’t agree with his overblown fears about what Brexit would unleash’

Nick and Peter
Nick (left) and Peter. All photographs: Karen Robinson/The Guardian Photograph: Karen Robinson/The Guardian
Nick

Nick, 30, Bristol

Occupation Part-time history lecturer, part-time cleaner

Voting record Grew up in Montana, a Democrat surrounded by conservatives

Amuse bouche As a teenager and inspired by Tolkien, Nick invented his own language called Hesperian

Peter

Peter, 60, Bristol

Occupation Computer science professor

Voting record A Labour party member until recently, Peter is no fan of Keir Starmer and sometimes votes Green

Amuse bouche Once lived in a squat in London. “The police burst in, but we didn’t have any drugs, so they left with their tails between their legs”

For starters

Nick He was a lovely man. I could tell he was very much in this for the conversation. He wasn’t quite as into the menu as I was – that was half my motivation. I had paneer tikka and a prawn curry.

Peter He was smart and thoughtful, able to hold his own but also listen. I could be his father – he’s younger than my daughters – but I can’t say it made any difference. The food was very good, too.

Nick and Peter

The big beef

Nick Peter seems to have this mindset that the young today – Gen Z and millennials – have it uniquely bad, and that this explains what people term the mental health crisis. I see it more as a self-fulfilling prophecy. I guess I see what were formerly just normal conditions of life – things people addressed through philosophy or religion – being medicalised.

Peter No generation has it easy. But if I was the same age as Nick, I’d be thinking: “I can’t buy a house, rent is really expensive” – and that would make me worry about the future. I’d be concerned about climate change, mass extinction events. That creates a lot of stress for people.

Nick I accept that a lot of problems like anxiety and depression probably have roots in brain chemistry. But for students worried about doing poorly on tests or not fitting in, it becomes: “I now have anxiety as part of my identity.” It is something they embrace and then don’t really try to overcome. Maybe I’m projecting a bit unfairly.

Peter It’s a spectrum – everyone is physically ill sometimes, and almost certainly slightly mentally ill sometimes as well. In the end, it’s that medics are better able to diagnose it.

Nick and Peter

Sharing plate

Peter We agreed that Brexit had been economically bad. But I think it might be good for the following reason: some people look back at the empire and think Britain is this fantastic leading country, but actually it isn’t. If Brexit teaches humility, that is a good thing, and Britain may then become a good European nation rather than being the bad boy in the room all the time.

Nick I view the election of Trump in similar terms. I hate him – there was a legitimate risk he could have subverted democracy. But at the same time it has forced America to reckon with its place in the world. When I was growing up, we were literally told we were so lucky to be born in the most free, wonderful country that God ever created. I don’t think it’s the same here, but imperial nostalgia is confronting reality now.

Nick and Peter

For afters

Nick One of the reasons Peter had for voting against Brexit was that it would unleash a rightwing coup.

Peter The EU is a neoliberal club, but it is blunted, and that EU club has blunted the neoliberals here. They want to be released from those restraints. I feared a rightwing coup, and that seems to have happened – Johnson coming into power, the Tufton Street cabal, Kwarteng, Truss and so on.

Nick I think Britain is a more socially democratic country than before, though whether that is because of Covid is another question. I don’t agree with Peter’s overblown fears about what Brexit would unleash. That is partly shaped by his experience of the 80s – he seems like a school of Tony Benn type.

Nick and Peter

Takeaways

Nick So much of the resentment I have towards my own generation is because it’s impossible to have these kinds of broad discussions. It was nice to talk about how societies can be overhauled rather than getting bogged down in identity politics. At the same time, it was a reminder that I’m a bit cloistered in my own attitudes.

Peter I do like being challenged. It was a very positive experience. We exchanged numbers, so who knows – maybe I’ll invite him and his partner round for dinner. I’m not so good, but my wife is very good at cooking.

Nick and Peter

Additional reporting: Kitty Drake

• Nick and Peter ate at Nutmeg in Bristol.

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