Sexual issues can rear their head from time to time in any relationship - and usually aren't a huge cause for concern from a medical perspective. Having said this, problems in the bedroom can be emotionally tough to deal with for both the person experiencing the issue and their partner, so it's important to keep communication lines open and explore options together.
The good news is the solution can be as simple as switching up your sex position - and it's not all fancy Kamasutra sex positions, but the nation's favourites like spooning and missionary that come out on top (pun intended). A caveat is that if problems in the bedroom persist, it's best for you or your partner to chat them through with your GP.
A survey from Between Us Clinic found there are some interesting stats when it comes to the link between sexual issues and sex positions. For example, 30% of experts said that the best position for delaying ejaculation is the spooning position, as it limits the depth and speed of thrusting and allows for better control. While 35% agreed that the best position for improving erection strength is doggy style since it is less likely to obstruct blood flow to the penis and many find it very visually arousing. We delve deeper into why these positions can be so useful when it comes to tackling problems in the bedroom, with the help of top sex experts and educators.
And if you need any more pointers, there are plenty of sex apps that focus on sexual wellness that will give couples more advice on how to improve their sex lives and get better orgasms.
Sex positions for sexual issues: 4 to try
1. Best for women who experience pain during sex
About one in 10 women report pain during sex according to research from Between Us Clinic. This could point towards a health condition such as endometriosis or pelvic floor dysfunction, so it's important to follow up with your doctor if you experience that common sexual issue.
Cowgirl, spooning, and missionary were voted the best options for preventing painful sex, with cowgirl the most popular receiving 47% of votes. "Women who experience pain during sex are going to benefit from positions where they have control over the depth and speed of penetration, such as reverse cowgirl," explains Brittany Steffen, MS, LMFT, AASECT-certified sex therapist. "And definitely avoid doggy style - that position tends to be the worst."
2. Best for premature ejaculation
Research from Between Us Clinic found that one in three men will experience premature ejaculation in their lifetime. While premature ejaculation can happen to men at any age and from any background, research from the National Library of Medicine shows that older men (above 31) are also affected, at times more so than younger men.
Spooning was found to be the most effective position for boosting erection control, with 30% agreeing it helped tackle this sexual issue. So why does a side-by-side position help? The spooning position offers a great deal of control and due to the shallow thrust, slows down sex by limiting the ability to thrust too quickly. It also offers optimal skin-to-skin contact and intimacy. Missionary, doggy, and woman-on-top were also voted the best positions for delaying ejaculation.
"Spooning is excellent for reducing the amount of stimulation (reduction of stimulation creates a longer sexual experience)," explains Heather Huckett, PLLC, MA in Couple and Family Therapy, with a certificate in Sex Therapy. "If needing less intensity, the male can stay still or gently move while remaining inside their partner. This position creates a slower sexual encounter and minimized the ability for fast hard thrusting."
Rachel Needle, PsyD, licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, explains why this is a great position for women, too. "As a bonus, many women who enjoy the spooning position enjoy the intimacy, comfort, and closeness it provides. Wanting to be nurtured and feel closer to your partner is one motivation for this position."
3. Best for ejaculation control
Erectile dysfunction is another common issue, with research from Between Us Clinic finding that the sexual issue affects about 40% of men at age 40 and 70% at age 70.
The survey found that when it comes to boosting erection strength, doggie style is the most effective position for keeping the penis erect and firm. Doggy style allows for deeper penetration - and the insertive partner can control the speed and depth. Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and spooning were also voted as effective positions for erection strength.
“In order to help keep an erection longer, you must try moving as little as possible. Doggy style is best, you are getting the most stimulation with the least amount of movement," explains Neeka Wittern, a sex expert with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology.
Reverse cowgirl is another variation of the doggie-style position that can help tackle this common sex issue. "Positions that allow for the most blood flow, nitric oxide levels and a relaxed pelvic floor, such as the reverse cowgirl are better for erection strength," explains Rebbeca Lahann, PsyD, CST, AASECT-certified sex therapist.
This is a particularly pleasurable position for women due to the opportunity for clitoral stimulation. "The cowgirl and reverse cowgirl can give access to the clitoris for their male partner and allow them to achieve a deeper penetration right away in intercourse," explains Jessica Rubinstein, LMFT, CST, AASECT-certified sex therapist.
4. Best for intimacy
Many of us have to work at sexual intimacy in a relationship - it's not something that's a given, especially as the years roll on. Sex positions, where we're facing our partner and have the opportunity to caress each other's bodies, allow for sex to become much more than just penetration.
The most effective positions for enhancing intimacy are missionary (29%) and the lesser-known lotus or 'yab yum' position as it's known in tantric sex (30%). These create the opportunity for eye contact and full-body caressing.
"For the best intimacy good old-fashion-traditional-style sex. Really any kind of penetration that encourages good eye contact, being able to hear each other, and nice caresses and cuddles," explains Renelle E. Nelson, LMFT, CST, IRC, AASECT-certified sex therapist.
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