WHEN Mark Iuliano learned in March that he had lost his brother-in-law Gus Wilson, who had been struggling with his mental health, he checked in with his brothers and closest male friends.
"I let them know that if they were ever in a dark place to please reach out and please don't be scared to talk about it," says Mr Iuliano.
"It's a super challenging thing, I still struggle to understand it, even with this happening, it's hard to wrap your head around, but don't be afraid to contact someone. And if you need to look to the professionals, Beyond Blue, the Black Dog Institute ... maybe sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't know. But please reach out."
Mr Iuliano and his wife, Nichole, a sibling of Gus, and her family are grieving the loss of Mr Wilson, 38, who lived at length in Broken Hill but returned to Victoria to be closer to his family, including two of his three children, all aged below 18.
"Gus had a mental health condition but had been working through things ... it must have got to a point where it got too much and he saw no way forward," Mr Iuliano said.
On R U OK? day on September 8, he will be thinking of his brother-in-law as he works in his role as a mobile banking manager for Newcastle Permanent, based in their Green Hills office.
When Mr Iuliano opened up to his colleagues about Gus, they rallied to support him.
Each year, staff at The Perm donate around $60,000 via its CommunityAssist Employee Donation Program, nominating a charity they believe deserves support.
When nominations came up for the donation program shortly after Gus died, Mr Iuliano saw a donation to the Black Dog Institute as a way to commemorate his brother-in-law's life.
"Gus must have reached out to the Institute in the past, because one birthday he asked for donations to it, instead of buying him presents," he said.
With the help of his colleagues, Perm employees have raised $13,300 for the Institute.
The sum will help with the Institute's second trial of LifeBuoy, an app designed to help young people manage their suicidal thoughts and distress in daily life.
According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, about 3000 people die by suicide each year in Australia, with suicide being the leading cause of death for people aged 15 to 44.
The donation will go toward the continued testing of the LifeBuoy app in a new Australian trial, helping the Institute confirm that it is a safe and effective tool to help people.
Raised in Newcastle, Mr Iuliano met his partner Nichole, the sister of Gus, when the trio lived and worked in Broken Hill for close to a decade.
He said his brother-in-law was a quiet person who came out of his shell when he got to know people.
Gus had relocated to Victoria to be closer to those who mattered to him, initially working in the airline industry in Albury and then in metal fabrication in Shepparton.
"He just loved his family, he really cared and wanted to see the best for his children but loved his [three] sisters as well, he was all about his family," Mr Iuliano said.
Gus had been talking to his family about his struggles and they were supporting him.
"They were in contact with him about that but I think we have since learned that he had been struggling with it longer than we maybe knew," he said, adding that the family was in part spread out geographically, and lockdown had rendered personal contact a little harder.
There have been many questions in his head since he lost his brother-in-law and he says it is important to realise mental health is a widespread issue, and that it is ok to reach out to friends, colleagues or professional services.
"The challenge with mental health issues which is borne out in recent events with high profile people is it doesn't matter what your personal situation is, mental health can strike anyone. You could be perceived as having everything at your feet but still have challenges," Mr Iuliano said.
"The biggest thing for all of us is, did we make enough contact, did we reach out, could we have done more ...I think for anyone after these things occur, that is the thing you wonder."
Acknowledging the grief of his partner and her family, Mr Iuliano said Gus was loved and admired.
"We've connected with some of his friends and I guess the hard part is that he was loved and you can see that he had some really great friends who thought he was an amazing person and really miss him, as much as his family do," he said.
He is grateful to work for an employer that he says "punches above its weight" to support community programs.
"It's great our employer can support a cause like that and hopefully it brings some benefit to someone who is struggling," he said.
"We know that there are young people who are struggling and I think if we can put in place with this [LifeBuoy] app some ways to support them then hopefully we can help people avoid this outcome.
"The fact that it's in honour of Gus helps us a little bit, and knowing he'd supported the Black Dog Institute, too."
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Support is available for those who are distressed. Phone Lifeline 13 11 14; BeyondBlue 1300 224 636
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