Del Boy did it! Or did he … ? Test your knowledge with our bumper Christmas culture quiz

Illustration: Jason Ford/The Guardian. Photographs: Sportsphoto Ltd/Allstar; Alamy Composite: Illustration: Jason Ford; Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar, Alamy

1. What is the real plot of the following Christmas TV specials? First up, Only Fools and Horses: Miami Twice

   1. Del Boy becomes a private detective after a mix-up with his Chinese takeaway mix-up

   2. Del Boy is chased across Florida after selling faulty sun cream that turns everyone’s skin purple

   3. Del Boy is the subject of an assassination attempt, because he’s the exact doppelganger of a mafia crime boss

2. One Foot in the Grave: Starbound

   1. Victor Meldrew’s new job as a tour guide goes wrong when he directs a coach into oncoming traffic

   2. Victor Meldrew discovers Ray Winstone living in his shed, dealing drugs

   3. Victor Meldrew accidentally ends up on Blue Peter after he’s mistaken for a talented child

3. Mr Bean: Merry Christmas, Mr Bean

   1. Mr Bean tries wrapping a present and tapes his feet to his neck

   2. Mr Bean steals a Christmas tree and then explodes in a cracker accident

   3. Mr Bean dresses up as Santa and accidentally breaks into a high -security bank

4. Casualty: Peace on Earth

   1. A mysterious stranger gets stuck up a chimney, plus a motorway crash leads to multiple deaths

   2. A turkey farmer slips on droppings and breaks his leg, plus an old woman dies of loneliness

   3. Seven dwarves are poisoned, plus there is a fatal gas explosion

5. Last of the Summer Wine: Crums

   1. The gang hunt down an impostor in a crowd of Father Christmases

   2. The gang try to put up a Christmas tree on top of a hill, only to be dragged downhill behind it

   3. The gang try to cook a turkey, and set fire to the post office

6. Which film in each category is a real Christmas movie released by Hallmark this year? Kicking off, the most wonderful time …

   1. ’Tis the Season to Be Irish: a house-flipper travels to Ireland to renovate a cottage, and falls in love

   2. A Gingerbread Promise: a big-city architect visits her grandma's town to save a bakery, teaming up with a baker whose skills are impossible to resist

   3. Mistletoe Matchmaker: a small-town florist discovers an ability to bring couples together with mistletoe, and needs some Christmas magic of her own

7. Love, actually …

   1. Noel at the North Pole: a journalist sent to cover Santa’s workshop stumbles upon a toymaker who might believe in love more than he lets on

   2. A Holly Jolly Proposal: a jewellery designer creates an engagement ring for her childhood best friend, only to realise he might be the one she loves

   3. Sugarplummed: a woman reconsiders Christmas when a holiday movie main character is brought to life

8. A working arrangement …

   1. The Christmas Charade: a librarian is forced to pose as the girlfriend of an undercover FBI agent chasing an art thief

   2. A Star for Christmas: a teacher and a Hollywood star stranded in her small town during a snowstorm work together to put on the school’s Christmas pageant

   3. Peppermint Wishes: a candy shop owner and a chocolatier team up to create a new treat, discovering that opposites really do attract

9. Animal magic …

   1. Christmas By the Sea: a marine biologist and a single dad team up to protect a pod of whales during the holidays

   2. Happy Howlidays: a stray dog brings together a lonely webpage editor and an animal shelter owner

   3. Paws and Claus: a vet takes over her late father’s clinic and meets a dog trainer trying to rehome abandoned pups

10. Thrown together …

    1. The Finnish Line: a woman competes in a dog race but ends up in the arms of a journalist after an injury

    2. The Christmas Passport: a photographer wins a Christmas trip to a European village where she meets a tour guide with a passion for history

    3. Christmas Detour: a snowstorm forces a free-spirited traveller and a buttoned-up businessman to embark on a road trip together

11. 

    Which song was Christmas No 1 in … 1977?

    1. White Christmas: Bing Crosby

    2. Mull of Kintyre: Wings

    3. Put Your Love in Me: Hot Chocolate

12. … 1982?

    1. Save Your Love: Renee and Renato

    2. A Winter’s Tale: David Essex

    3. Singalong-Aa-Santa: Santa and his Christmas Trees

13. … 1994?

    1. All I Want for Christmas Is You: Mariah Carey

    2. Stay Another Day: East 17

    3. Crocodile Shoes: Jimmy Nail

14. … 2003?

    1. Proper Crimbo: Bo’ Selecta

    2. I’m Your Man: Shane Richie

    3. Mad World: Michael Andrews ft Gary Jules

15. … 2023?

    1. Fairytale of New York: Pogues ft Kirsty MacColl

    2. Rocking Around the Christmas Tree: Brenda Lee

    3. Last Christmas: Wham!

16. Which of these shows achieved the highest Christmas ratings … in 1999?

    1. Before They Were Famous

    2. BBC News

    3. A Touch of Frost

17. … 2003?

    1. Posh and Becks’ Big Impression

    2. My Family

    3. Celebrity Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

18. … 2006?

    1. The Vicar of Dibley

    2. Little Britain Abroad

    3. Strictly Come Dancing

19. … 2012?

    1. Call the Midwife

    2. Downton Abbey

    3. The Royle Family

20. … 2020?

    1. The Wheel

    2. The Chase

    3. Blankety Blank

21. Which of the following are real lyrics to real novelty Christmas songs, kicking off with Funky Funky Christmas: New Kids on the Block

    1. A Throw your hands in the air, pause / Kick the ballistics, Santa Claus

    2. Frosty’s in the hood, got his shades on tight / Spinnin’ on the ice, it’s a Christmas night

    3. It’s the Christmas vibe, so grab your crew / We’re rockin’ red and green like it’s somethin’ new

22. Drummer Boy: Justin Bieber ft Busta Rhymes

    1. Come they told me, pa-rum-pa-pum-pum / So I brought the whole club, ba-da-bum-bum-bum

    2. My gift to bring, tho’ it ain’t much / Is a whole lot of love and an iPod Touch 

    3. People everywhere and all our Twitter followers / Merry Christmas, Kwanza, Happy Hanukkah

23. Ragin’ Cajun Redneck Christmas – The Robertsons

    1. Gonna polish up my shotgun real nice / Cause Santa’s coming and I ain’t asking twice

    2. They’re stringing up lights down on Main Street / Saw a tree tied up on the hood of a Humvee

    3. My old momma, we’ll celebrate her / By stuffing and roasting an alligator

24. Have a Cheeky Christmas: The Cheeky Girls

    1. Hey, wow, Rudolph is close / Come, now, rub his wet nose

    2. Oh baby, sit on my knee / Yes, yes, I’m under your tree

    3. One, two, Santa Claus is coming / Three, four, filling up my stocking

25. Baby, It’s Cold Outside: John Legend and Kelly Clarkson

    1. What will my friends think (They’ll think you’re strong and independent)

    2. If I have one more drink? (It’s your body and your choice)

    3. I ought to say ‘“no no no sir’” (I believe in female empowerment)

Solutions

1:C, 2:B, 3:B, 4:C, 5:A, 6:A, 7:C, 8:A, 9:B, 10:A, 11:B, 12:A, 13:B, 14:C, 15:C, 16:A, 17:B, 18:A, 19:C, 20:C, 21:A, 22:C, 23:B, 24:C, 25:B

Scores

1. 2 and above.

2. 3 and above.

3. 25 and above.

4. 24 and above.

5. 23 and above.

6. 22 and above.

7. 21 and above.

8. 20 and above.

9. 19 and above.

10. 18 and above.

11. 17 and above.

12. 16 and above.

13. 15 and above.

14. 14 and above.

15. 13 and above.

16. 12 and above.

17. 11 and above.

18. 10 and above.

19. 9 and above.

20. 8 and above.

21. 7 and above.

22. 6 and above.

23. 5 and above.

24. 4 and above.

25. 0 and above.

26. 1 and above.

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