Declan Rice will bow out of West Ham as a Bobby dazzler – and Jarrod Bowen will be canonised as a saint in the East end.
Bowen's last-gasp winner, 15 seconds from the end, should be enough to earn him lifelong recognition as the man who ended the Hammers' 43-year wait for a trophy. A statue should do it.
Rice, expected to quit the club in search of Champions League football, will go down in cor blimey country as only the third captain to lift a pot after East end royalty Bobby Moore and Billy Bonds.
And manager David Moyes, who follows Ron Greenwood and John Lyall into West Ham immortality, carried out his threat to perform a victorious 'Disco Dave' dance on the pitch.
Not pretty, but absolutely fantastic.
Moyes has worked 1,097 games as a manager without lifting a major pot, and he was dealt some duff hands like the man who followed Fergie at Manchester United.
Only the most curmudgeonly brat would deny he deserves his moment in the sun.
In truth, West Ham had looked ragged after conceding a sloppy equaliser and losing defensive rock Kurt Zouma to injury.
And when Bowen raced clear on to Lucas Paqueta's through ball, he still had it all to do.
But he timed his run to perfection, slid his finish into the bottom corner... and he didn't have to wait long for company to celebrate, because the whole West Ham bench dashed 80 yards across the pitch to join the party.
Bowen became a father to twins Summer and Star last month – now he will always be the star of this memorable summer in the East end.
Was it deserved? Who cares?
Don't fall for jealous carping from the shires that this is a tinpot competition of little consequence.
Moore never complained that he was lifting a trinket when the Hammers won the Cup Winners Cup in 1965, when it was still a relatively new addition to the roster.
And the £4.3 million prize money was always going to be worth the effort.
Brexit was supposed to curb freedom of movement across Europe, but they didn't get the memo in pie-and-mash heartlands.
In a huge migration by plane, train and automobile, around 25,000 Eastenders swarmed across the continent to join the party.
Most of them travelled without tickets, although they had the twin consolations of finding beer at £1.50 a pint in the designated fan zone, where pop relic Chesney Hawkes serenaded them amid the puddles in a sprawling parking lot.
West Ham may be massive everywhere they go, but nobody could accuse them of settling for second-best.
For alternative pre-match entertainment, there was a brief outbreak of nonsense in the old town, where Czech police arrested at least 16 people following a pathetic ambush by Italian 'ultras' in a bar where Hammers fans were drinking peacefully.
After the semi-final attack on West Ham players' families and friends in Alkmaar by hoodlums of a similar dress code, we can now construct a fairly accurate profile of these vermin.
They dress in black, wear masks or pulled-down hoods, they are poorly endowed and they can't fight.
As for the actual game itself, Fiorentina's game plan was soon apparent: Go down clutching your face at every opportunity.
But it doesn't excuse the idiots who pelted Fiorentina skipper Cristiano Biraghi with plastic drinks containers as he prepared to take a corner.
One missile left Biraghi with blood pouring from a cut on the back of his head – a terrible look for the game, and it will inevitably led to disciplinary sanctions against West Ham, likely to include a hefty fine or stadium closure.
“That is poor,” huffed former Hammers defender Scott Minto on BBC Radio 5 Live. “So disgraceful. Do not get involved in things like this.”
Rice led a delegation of players pleading with the fans to behave, and the fusillade of flying pots eventually subsided.
When play-acting and hooliganism finally gave way to football, Lady Luck turned out to be a Cockney 17 minutes into the second half.
Biraghi was penalised for handball – a nifty right jab as Bowen broke into the box – and after a lengthy VAR check, Spanish referee Carlos del Cerro Grande pointed to the spot.
Said Benrahma, who had rightly been booked for diving in the first half, made no mistake.
But if West Ham thought the job was done, they switched off five minutes later and paid a heavy price.
Giacomo Bonaventura swept Fiorentina's equaliser into the bottom corner, and it looked like forcing extra time until Bowen had the final say.
So 293 days after West Ham set off on their European crusade, it's going to be one heck of a Cockney knees-up.
Under the table you must go, ee-aye, ee-aye, ee-aye-oh...
