Dame Deborah James has revealed she is now too scared to go to sleep as she receives end of life care at her parents' house in Surrey.
The 40-year old, who is battling stage four bowel cancer, gave a health update on Tuesday and spoke of how her family are all "knackered", but she is determined not to let her children have "the burden of caring for me".
The mother-of-two previously posted a 'farewell' message on her Instagram account before being presented with her Damehood by the Duke of Cambridge.
But Dame Deborah remained a true inspiration as she gave a candid chat about how she was doing in an interview with The Sun.
"I don't feel like I'm on my deathbed," she said.
"I'm not planning on dying anytime soon, but it's just so unpredictable. I'm scared to fall asleep and that’s one of the biggest reasons I'm so tired. I am scared to go to sleep."
Deborah also said she has good and bad days and is doing all she can to shield her kids, Eloise, 12, and Hugo, 14, from seeing her in her darkest moments.
"I feel very strongly that I don't want my kids to see me agitated and distressed, I want to make sure they see me when I’m having a good day. I don’t want them to take on the burden of having to care for me, massage my legs because I can’t walk- that would break my heart."
The mother of two went on to discuss the pain and discomfort she is in and praised her family members for their ongoing love and support.
She pointed out the irony that after spending the last five years talking about poo, and 'breaking the poo taboo' it was typical her stomach was now suffering.
Dame Deborah said her parents were 'knackered' after going above and beyond to care for her, but described their love as 'true, deep and overwhelming'.
The Dame made the selfless decision to receive end of life hospice care away from her own family home in South London so her children didn't have to see it full of medical equipment.
At the time of moving to her parents' house she said: "It means the kids can go back there and they don't have those scars everywhere. It can continue to be their home without those memories."
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