DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my second wife for 10 years. Most everything is fine, but we have one area of conflict. It is regarding her daughter, my stepdaughter, who has grown from a cute little 9-year-old into a beautiful 19-year-old. The problem is her attire around the house. She routinely wears a sports bra and panties around the house (around me). I find it distracting, to say the least.
I have discussed it with her mother, but she sees nothing wrong with it, probably because she dresses pretty much the same way. I can’t get my wife to understand that what might be OK for her is inappropriate for her daughter. What should I do?
By the way, I have never said or done anything inappropriate, but I find myself taking a look at her more often than I should. Help! — STEPDAD WHO SEES IN TEXAS
DEAR STEPDAD: If you haven’t told your wife DIRECTLY that a beautiful young woman parading around in her underwear and a sports bra is arousing, and you would prefer her daughter dress more modestly around you, you should. And out of respect for you, your wife should explain those facts to her daughter and remind her that she’s no longer a child, and she should cover up.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 52-year-old woman. I am single and have no children, but I’m a loving aunt to many. I had an older sister who died before my older brother and I were born. She was born with special needs and lived for only 10 months. My parents never kept it a secret. Knowing I had an older sister makes me want to find a big sister figure.
I sometimes fantasize that a particular beloved TV actress is my sister. She did a Cameo video for my 50th birthday, and I have met her wonderful husband twice at fan conventions. I told him I thought his wife was a beautiful angel. I am not gay, but I love her. Am I weird? — FANGIRL IN WISCONSIN
DEAR FANGIRL: It isn’t weird to feel an attachment to a celebrity. However, it’s important to be able to distinguish between reality and fantasy. You “see” this person on a regular basis, but you do not have an actual relationship with her. Close friends often consider themselves to be “sisters” and use the term when addressing each other. You might find what you are reaching out for closer to home if you step back and look for it.
DEAR ABBY: I’m living with a man who has four children. We’ve been together 22 years. He claims the house will be mine upon his demise. How do I ask him to show me his will to see if what he says is true? I don’t want to have to fight his children in court, because they have the money to do it and I don’t. I work for what I have and a lot of the things in the house I have bought. Please tell me how I can approach the subject. — CONCERNED AND WORRIED
DEAR CONCERNED: Tell your partner you are worried about your future should something happen to him. Then tell him you would like a copy of his will to ensure it is up to date and to keep in a safe, secure place so there will be no misunderstandings if he predeceases you. After all these years together, your concerns are legitimate, and if he is on the level, he should want to be sure you have peace of mind and are protected.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order “How to Be Popular.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
