Training and competing in any sport is never straightforward.
There are plenty of weeks when athletes feel like they take one step forward and three steps backwards.
It’s all part of the journey and is always a test of their mental strength.
I often feel at the top end of sport they do this extremely well.
As I sat down this week to watch Brad Hall kickstart the British Bobsleigh team’s season only months after his own back surgery it blew me away that the team came top ten without putting themselves on the edge.
With several members of the team going through surgery it feels like a off season of rehabilitation rather than performance training.
However, it’s the next Olympics that I know that Hall is aiming for.
Without a doubt they’re good enough to medal, so this season is a stepping stone to those Olympics.
I watched closely how Brad rehabilitated after back surgery and his recovery was incredible.
I took strength from watching how he approached each session as he built himself back from hospital bed to running a 4-man 200kg Bobsleigh off the start in Austria last week.
Now, I know I won’t be running off the top of a Bobsleigh run but I am determined to make the most of my life and getting outside is a big part of that.
However, as you will know, the last few weeks have felt like one step forward and ten steps backwards.
The back injury I picked up in China is causing so much pain walking is almost impossible, and I am not quite ready for the wheelchair life just yet.
After some more physiotherapy the back eased off enough to give me the opportunity to get over to the gym.
Walking in felt incredible vulnerable - I felt so weak.
If a gust of wind had come along at the wrong time I felt it would have blown me over.
However, I safely made it into the gym and managed one hour on the bike, and hour of weights.
It was definitey a major win.
I wanted to celebrate and to know that like any athlete, the key is now consistency.
Unable to get to the gym daily I managed to set up a circuit on my flat and have started to make some small progress with both my back injury and my recovery from surgery.
This week has being a test of mental strength.
Of knowing when to push - and when not to.
It’s not straightforward as In my mind I want to go full steam ahead but my body won’t let me.
Some days I wish my body was as strong as my mind so it would allow me to pursue all the sports that make me feel alive.
For now I have to accept the closet I am getting to those sports is from my sofa - but if I can get back to the gym this weekend and build on what I started last week hopefully my legs will start to hold my body.
I also have to remind myself it’s not that long ago I was in surgery.
If I needed a reminder of this it came a few days ago when I accidentally touched my scar.
It was like grabbing hold of a electric cable and I felt an instant electric shock travel through my whole body.
The pain it caused was on a completely different level to anything I have ever felt and the only thing I could do was climb under a duvet and sleep for close to twelve hours.
That was a reminder of what I have come through and the need to be kind to my body.
Christmas Day was usually training for me, either a 18km ergo or three hours on the bike.
But this year it will be more sleeping and food than high performance training.
However, I feel extremely lucky to have made it to another Christmas and as all my friends prepare over the holidays for Paris 2024 I will pause to say thanks.
I thank you all for coming on this journey with me and I wish you a blessed Christmas.
