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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
Sport
Ben Parsons

Dame Laura Kenny opens up on miscarriage trauma and sets sights on Paris 2024 Olympics

Dame Laura Kenny is Britain's most decorated female Olympian - but her ride to Paris 2024 has been punctured by the personal agony and heartbreak that left her contemplating retirement.

Kenny is back on the bike this weekend as the innovative Track Cycling Champions League racing series makes its last stop at the scene of one of her most famous triumphs at London 2012.

And the grief and trauma that has beset Kenny and her close friend Katie Archibald over this past 12 months makes this poignant London homecoming of two of British cycling's greatest all the more remarkable.

Kenny has been a constant source of support for Archibald - who had her world turned upside down when partner Rab Wardell died in his sleep aged 37 in August, just days after becoming a Scottish mountain biking champion.

And Kenny and husband Jason, Britain's most successful Olympian ever, have come through the devastation of a miscarriage last November and an ectopic pregnancy in January that left the 30-year-old at breaking point.

Kenny's own on-track expectations this weekend are tempered owing to her fitness issues - but she is desperate to see Archibald overcome US star Jennifer Valente to win defend her women's endurance crown.

"As much as I show respect to Jenifer, I would very much like Katie to take the win and I think she will!" Kenny tells Mirror Sport, speaking ahead of the UCI Track Champions League final rounds on Eurosport and discovery+. "We've built a personal relationship and spend a lot of the time checking in on each other. When this stuff did hit the fan we had each other.

"I felt like I could approach Katie and I basically vomited it all at her. Then, when Rab died, I never felt like I couldn't contact her. I didn't want her to feel lonely and Tokyo gave us that friendship."

Laura and Jason discovered they were expecting shortly after returning from the Tokyo Games last year - where she claimed a magnificent Madison gold with Archibald. Weeks later, she flew out to Majorca to commentate for Eurosport on the inaugural track series, where she masked huge amounts of bleeding pain after travelling to the event on the reassurance of her midwife that spotting was common during pregnancy.

Kenny and Archibald share an important support network (Daily Mirror/Andy Stenning)

Kenny then miscarried her baby at nine weeks in a hospital in Spain and was forced to go through the trauma without nearby family support. "I felt trapped," Kenny says. "I started to go through the miscarriage before I'd even flown but I felt such a commitment and went. Not having Jason there was a nightmare. I was really isolated.

"I was completely lost and I had so many irrational feelings - like I was a failure and my body had let me down. People just get pregnant and they don't even want the kid. But I wanted ours and I thought this is unfair. At the time it's all that consumed my brain and its the first time I felt out of control. It was just constant and the only thing that made it switch off was getting out on my bike.

"I wouldn't have gone, looking back. It cost me more issues in the long run in being able to accept it. Even for Jason and I to be able to have a conversation - it was really difficult. We didn't speak about it and then I'd just go to bed because I just wanted out. It took a good few weeks for us to speak about it and if I'd have stayed at home I'd have been able to be upset with him."

Still coming to terms with the trauma of the miscarriage, Kenny was forced to have one of her fallopian tubes removed in January following an ectopic pregnancy that caused the embryo to grow outside the womb.

Kenny credits husband Jason for helping her get through her darkest period (Getty Images)

But Kenny insists partner Jason suffered even greater pain as she was rushed to A&E for emergency surgery alone due to Covid restrictions, leaving the couple - who had son Albie in 2017 - in utter despair.

"For him the ectopic (pregnancy) was a lot worse and for me the miscarriage was," Kenny reflects. "The ectopic was so rushed and I was pulled from pillar to post. It was all happening so fast that I didn't understand what was going on. But Jason was getting it from the doctor's point of view and they were saying how poorly I was and that it (fallopian tube) needed out.

"Jason had this fear that he was solely in charge of our little boy at home and he could do nothing about it. I leant on him throughout the whole thing yet there were very few people who actually said to Jase, 'are you okay?'

"Ultimately he went through more trauma than I did. I was in the doctor's hands but Jase didn't have anyone to lean on and it wasn't until we did an appearance for GroceryAid and he broke down on stage because he's never spoken about it before.

"It made me realise that as men, you get forgotten, just because it's not happening to you inside, we just pretend that you must be fine."

It was in this dark period that Kenny seriously considered calling time on her career - with no motivation to compete amidst the turmoil and physical toll of such a crushing period in her life. But she regards Jason's compassion and support as the cornerstone of her comeback as she finally regained the enjoyment in pushing her body to extreme limits in pursuit of more glory.

Kenny won gold at the Commonwealth Games in August (Getty Images)

And Kenny's assertion that a gold medal at the 10km scratch race at this year's Commonwealth Games was among her finest moments can be best understood by the anguish, affliction and self-doubt that came before. But the five-time Olympic champion is not done yet - instead rejuvenated and determined to yield all she can from a garlanded career that has already delivered so much.

"When I went to the Worlds in October I enjoyed it and that was the biggest turning point for me in 'can I focus on Paris 2024'? - yes. I can give 100% in training sessions because I'm enjoying it. It was a turning point. And when (trainer) Len Parker Simpson came on board, all of a sudden I had a focus. I thought I could see myself carrying on for another two years.

"I'd love to win in Paris but how do you know when you're finished, how do you know when you're at your peak? You don't. I'm not for fairytale endings but I just want to leave knowing I have no regrets because that would be the worst. I'll just keep going!"

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