David Tennant
On the audience: “It’s fair to say there might be some people in this room who have had a little freshening up. I admit, I’ve taken The Substance. There’s a guy in my dressing room who looks like Nosferatu.”
On A Complete Unknown: “It’s like Mamma Mia for middle aged dads.”
On Conclave: “A hundred machinating schemers trying to decide between a conservative or progressive candidate, diversity or tradition. It’s like picking the next James Bond.”
On Donald Trump: “Trump says he hasn’t seen The Apprentice because it’s a 15 [rating]. It’s not on Nickelodeon. Donald Trump … I’m worried. I’ve said his name three times. It’s like Beetlejuice, I’ve summoned him. And talking of villains, we’ve had many this year.”
On the winners: “If you win, please keep your speeches the opposite to your films: nice and short.”
On Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner: “We’re very privileged tonight to be joined by the runner-up in New York’s recent Timothée Chalamet lookalike competition. Welcome to the Baftas, young man!… Lovely attention to detail, you’re with a Kylie Jenner lookalike, well done!”
Kneecap director Rich Peppiatt
On Kneecap: “It is more than a film, it’s a movement. It’s about how everyone should have their language respected, their culture respected and their homeland respected.”
Jesse Eisenberg
On his chances: “I’d like to share this with my wife, who didn’t come, because she didn’t think I’d win.”
On Kieran Culkin: “This is the fifth award I’ve accepted on Kieran’s behalf. It confirms what I always thought – we have a similar life but his is about 27% better than mine.”
Stephen Merchant
On the film industry’s obsession with recycling material: “I said to the producer of the Hungarian Office: where’s my bloody cheque mate? I need it to buy the rights to Boggle. Dame Judi Dench has just signed on to play the egg timer.”
Emilia Perez director Jacques Audiard
On the film’s absent star Karla Sofía Gascón: “I also thank you Karla Sofía, who I kiss.”
Nick Park
On animators: “People say animators need a lot of patience, but the people who actually need patience are our loved ones.”
Simon Pegg
On the Baftas: “This is my fifth time presenting these illustrious awards. I can hear Lady Bafta whispering to me, ‘Simon, when are you going to win one of these fricking things? Cos you keep showing up, you know?’”
Conclave director Edward Berger
On the state of the world: “We live in a time of a crisis of democracy, and institutions usually used to bring us together are being used to pull us apart ... To end with a quote from Leonard Cohen, ‘There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.’”
James McAvoy
On the rising star award: “Thanks to Bafta for really hammering home that it’s been 20 years since I won this award.”
Rising star award winner David Jonsson
On winning: “I’ve got to be honest, this isn’t why I do it. I’m just an east London boy who by way of reflection didn’t really see a space for me in this industry. But this award is about people and as long as we can keep telling stories about people I think there’ll be a space for me and people like me … Star I don’t know, but rising, I guess.”
Warwick Davis
On his Bafta fellowship: “To anyone out there dreaming of telling their story or creating something meaningful, go for it, the world needs your vision … just remember that little fella with the Bafta.”
Mikey Madison
On winning best actress: “I really wasn’t expecting this, I probably should have listened to my publicist and wrote a speech or something.”
