A single father-of-one who transitioned to be male in his 30s, undergoing hormone therapy and top surgery, has said all he has ever wanted is “to be loved” and he has since set up his own clothing company, inspired by his late grandfather, to raise mental health awareness. Jamie-Lee Read, 39, who lives in Bradford, West Yorkshire, and was previously known as Sammy-Jo Read, said growing up was “mental torture” as his parents, who got married in their teens, were in an “abusive” relationship and separated when he was five.
Jamie-Lee, whose now-ex partner gave birth to a boy called Jayden-Elliott, three, using a sperm donor, said he lived in 72 different homes throughout his childhood and, as a result of his volatile upbringing, he suffers with anxiety and depression. He said he has always been a tomboy, but when he started going to senior school, he “felt that something was different” in him; he would spend time sitting in the corner on his own, was labelled “the odd kid”, and was subjected to bullying by his peers.
He came out as gay when he was 21 but he said he “still didn’t feel complete” – and so he began his transition to be male in his 30s and now feels “free”. Jamie-Lee has since set up his own clothing company, Eagle King Culture, designing his own logo and website to represent his personal struggles, and he hopes that he can one day be an advocate for the transgender community and raise more awareness of mental health.
“All I wanted, out of all of this, was to actually be loved,” he said. “From how I was before to this present day, I feel free knowing that I have found who I actually am.
“I feel free as a bird… and now I want to try to help others.”
Jamie-Lee said he has felt “frightened for most of (his) life” due to the struggles he experienced during his childhood. He moved homes frequently, said he had to raise his younger brother when he was just 11 years old, and questioned his own identity from a young age.
He said he would ask for “boys’ Christmas presents”, like Transformers toys, and would wear “boys’ dungarees”, but he felt “lost” for years. Jamie-Lee said he was labelled “the problem child” and was told “he ruined everything”, and he ended up missing some of his schooling because he claims he had “no support in basically growing and finding (his) actual self”.
“It was mental torture, not knowing where you’re going to be and having to start all over again (in every new home),” Jamie-Lee explained. “I think when I got to a certain age, around 15, I spiralled out of control.”
Jamie-Lee, who said he feels he has always been viewed as “the big black sheep of the family” and the person “who can never do anything straightforward”, has received support from mental health services since the age of 17 “to try to figure out what’s going on”. He has been diagnosed with emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD) and prescribed numerous medications over the years, but he said these made him feel “numb” – and it was not until his 30s that he came out as transgender and started his transition.
“The anxiety I experienced throughout my whole life, it was horrendous,” he said. “At 21, I came out as gay, and then that still didn’t feel complete. There was something else.
“I just got on with it, but it was only when I was 34 that I first came out as transgender… and five years in, I am still on my journey.”
While Jamie-Lee said he did not receive a positive reaction from his family when he announced his transition, he now feels “free as a bird”. “I knew there was no point dwelling on the past,” he said.
“I needed to move forward… and I had to tell myself, even if I was 45, it’s still never too late (to transition).”
After approaching his GP, Jamie-Lee was referred to a gender identity clinic and was prescribed testosterone gel as part of his hormone replacement therapy (HRT), which he had to apply on his legs. He also has three-monthly testosterone injections. Within three or four weeks, Jamie-Lee said his hair growth was “crazy” and he started to develop a beard and moustache; his facial features have changed, his voice has dropped, and his body composition has altered, with more fat moving from his hips to his stomach.
In August 2022, Jamie-Lee had top surgery to have a double mastectomy – where both breasts are removed – along with nipple grafts and, while he said the scars are “horrific”, he said it was “such a relief” to have the surgery done. The next stages of his transition will involve having a hysterectomy – a surgical procedure to remove the womb – and then phalloplasty, which is a masculinising genital surgery.
Jamie-Lee said the operations are “scary”, but he feels he is “on the right path to become himself”. “And hopefully, by starting my business, I’ve found something to do that makes me feel like I’m worth something,” he added.
Jamie-Lee launched his clothing company – inspired by his late grandfather, who was an artist – in 2019 following the birth of his son Jayden-Elliott, as he wants to be able to provide for his son and raise awareness of mental health through the messages printed on his products.
“I’ve never been so attached to something in my life that I’ve kept going, I think, because I know that it’s all myself,” Jamie-Lee explained. “I’m just solely focused on this and hope that something will come out of it.”
He created the logo – an eagle wearing a crown with a cross overhead – and designed the website himself after teaching himself about graphic design. “Everything in this logo means something to me,” he continued.
“It represents my ‘Pappy’ with his artwork and the crown, and the floating cross represents, to me, mental health. So really, what I’m trying to do is speak out through my own clothing brand. I’d like to support mental health and show people that they’re not alone.”
While he still struggles with his mental health to this day and feels he will “never be fixed”, he said he wants to “move forward” and raise the profile of his business and what it represents as, to date, he has had no sales. He also hopes to, one day, set up his own charity to support those struggling with mental health, and to be an advocate for the transgender community.
“I just want to move forward and make something of myself and make my son proud,” Jamie-Lee said. “I would love to help people get the help that I never had.”
To find out more about Jamie-Lee’s company, visit: www.eaglekingculture.com
