It had to happen. It finally happened. I mean, we all tried to guard against it. We strived to stop it, but it had to happen, and it did. Damn it, we’ve reached December! Not just December, we’ve reached mid-December. The year is a fortnight away from becoming extinct. Please don’t look at me. I’m in the same boat as you, (apologise for this reference for those in Chennai).
December going into January is one thing, but how did January become December so quickly? What happened to 2023? Who stole it? How’d it disappear so quickly without anyone noticing? Frankly, some months like June or July, I can’t remember at all. I looked at random dates, like March 17 or June 22, can’t remember a thing . Then I looked at famous dates like January 26 and August 15, again other than the minor inconvenience of both being dry days, nothing. Nope, can’t recall a second of any day. Who is to blame for this? The Government? Alzheimer’s? Modern society? Mr Sharma on the fifth floor, ‘B’ wing? People who are looking toward this column for answers about the universe, need to complain to the editor as soon as possible.
In the meantime, I have my own problems to deal with. The year has run away at such a frantic pace, I’m still to cover my first task of the year, that was planned back in January 2023.. I promised the wife, that we’d organise an exhibition of her art works, and I may have added, thanks to the effects of Alcohol coupled with painkillers, (both started only after marriage), that we’d do this exhibition on a large scale. I’m not sure why I mentioned the phrase ‘large scale’, because I’m one of those people who has absolutely no idea what ‘large scale’ means.
The Greeks called this disease, ‘Foot in Mouth’. The origin of the phrase though goes this way. The Great Athenian orator Demosthenes used to frequently find himself speaking first, and thinking later. As in, even he was surprised at what he had just said. Once, he publicly asked the Athenians to kill King Phillip of Macedon. The King being a just and fair man had Demosthenes tied to eight horses, each running in a different path. (This is also where the phrase horse racing comes from). Just before the punishment was carried out, Demosthenes explained to the King that he suffered from this disease of speech organically emitting from his mouth, without checking with his brain. An example of a modern-day Demosthenes would probably be Rakhi Sawant or Donald Trump, definitely a mixture of the two would work as well. The King, convinced of Demosthenes’s premise, stopped the punishment. In an act of kindness, he reduced the horses participating from eight to seven. However, after being bullied by animal right activists of the time, (also known as Spartans) he allowed the eight horse to participate as well, but by putting a hoof in Demosthenes mouth only. Hence, the term ‘Foot in Mouth’ came to be.
Coming back to me, I’ve got two weeks to put up an art exhibition for the wife, which is like India needing 33 runs on the last over to win the World Cup final. (If that was too soon, I apologise). And to be fair, I feel you, dear reader, play far too passive a role in my life. You need to participate more. For the greater good. For the betterment of society. For the growth and prosperity of mankind, for Sachin… and for anything else you can come up with. And so now with huge expectations, I declare, this crowdfunding initiative, to launch a ‘large scale’ art exhibition, for the wife, ‘OPEN’.
P.S.: Thanking all of you in advance.
P.P.S.: PS not needed as this is not a letter.
Please don’t waste time, it’s already reached mid-December!
The writer has dedicated his life to communism. Though only on weekends.
