The last time Cristiano Ronaldo scored against Tottenham at Old Trafford he was 24-years-old and got two goals. Almost 13 years on, he went one better aged 37.
Ronaldo's first hat-trick back at United - and his second for the club since January 2008 - crowned his finest performance in a season where he has been repeatedly questioned. Tom Brady, American football's greatest and sat in the directors' box, put his hands together three times for football's greatest. Brady's Twitter account also posted its approval.
Inexplicably, Ronaldo did not approach the referee for the match ball, possibly because he has enough already on display in his museum. This was his 49th. Tottenham are officially now his Premier League patsies; he has scored 10 against them - more than any other club in his United career.
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According to Fifa, Ronaldo is now the game's most prolific goalscorer. Pele, with his mythical four-figure tally, may have something to say about that. Most impressively Ronaldo is two goals shy of a 20-goal haul in the Premier League and Champions League in a season he turned 37. All of his goals have come in the aforementioned two competitions.
Whatever Ralf Rangnick's reservations about Ronaldo, he needs him more than the other way round. Ronaldo has elevated United back up to fourth - for now - and Atletico Madrid must be relieved he has plundered a hat-trick three days before they touch down in Manchester. He has two against them already in the Champions League.
In a season where the United players have been found out it was almost the turn of the interim manager. For such a famed tactician, Rangnick was dormant and dilatory, the failure to send Victor Lindelof on sooner contributing to Tottenham's second equaliser.
The ball went out of play and Rangnick was patient with Lindelof waiting just past the 70th minute. Lindelof would have almost certainly replaced Pogba but Diogo Dalot was dragged infield again as Reguilon was left unattended for the umpteenth time. His cross was steered in by the desperate Harry Maguire.
But United had Ronaldo, rising - literally - to the occasion with a headed winner. It was a fortuitous win. United do not have another league game for three weeks but do have momentum again by defeating a direct rival for the last Champions League qualifying place. Tottenham will gift United more hope by dropping more points.
In such games, Antonio Conte must wonder what he got himself into. Tottenham were tactically astute, hogged the ball, scored twice, left United supporters whistling for full-time and still lost. Rangnick will argue Tottenham's two goals were a penalty and an own goal.
Rangnick will view this as a victory-at-all-costs. United's preparation was compromised by a false positive Covid-19 test that David de Gea returned on Friday and cancelled their planned stay at The Lowry on Friday evening. Dean Henderson, one of two players to check-in, woke up on his 25th birthday expecting to start only to have his candles blown out when he was recalled to Carrington. A false positive and a false alarm. Bruno Fernandes was absent through illness.
That could not legislate for United's refusal to heed Tottenham's warnings. Rangnick's unwillingness to match Conte's back three was suspect and the absence of a midfielder to retain the ball problematic. Ronaldo, often withdrawn, was a canny in-game manager, slowing the play down as the half-time whistle loomed and dependable with his measured lay-offs and prudent passing.
Spurs' wing-backs were a constant menace, repeatedly eluding the negligent Jadon Sancho and Marcus Rashford. Sancho's tame defending against Dejan Kulusevski allowed the slick Swede to win a penalty off Alex Telles' hand that Darren Fletcher pointlessly complained to the fourth official about. Harry Kane never looked like missing.
Rangnick and his assistant, Chris Armas, were visibly concerned by Tottenham's purposeful probing when United led. Nemanja Matic and Fred were instructed to switch, with Fred possibly more mobile to halt the adventurous Reguilon. Matic intervened vitally more than once and sprung the opening for Ronaldo's second goal. The Serb was surprisingly sacrificed for Edinson Cavani at 2-2.
Paul Pogba, having embarrassed Rodrigo Bentancur with a virtuoso flick in the 18th minute, seemed to treat the occasion with all the frivolousness of an exhibition match and became more careless past the pause. The brave decision would have been to follow through with Pogba's planned withdrawal even at 2-2 but the Frenchman somehow saw out the match.
There is a reason Spurs are where they are and whenever United got at them they were gettable. Reguillon, once of interest to United, was carelessly deep to play Sancho on for Ronaldo's second. Ronaldo tapped in clinically yet his celebration suggested he expected the flag to eventually be raised, particularly given the number of recent offside goals United have had disallowed.
Ronaldo's first goal was his best against the Londoners, a howitzer from 25 yards that Eric Dier inexplicably backed off from. Ronaldo was piqued by the denial of a possible penalty when his shot hit Dier's hand earlier and the next shot flew past Hugo Lloris' palms. Brady rose to his feet, appreciation from one footballing great to another.
Dier attempted to cow Ronaldo with a snide tackle when on a booking. Maguire gave the linesman an earful but referee Jon Moss played a dubious advantage.
Ronaldo pointed at himself repeatedly prior to his signature celebration on all three occasions, 'don't doubt me' doubtless the gist of it. A United supporter paused from celebrating to crane his head in an effort to watch the replay on the press box monitor his first but savoured the other two.
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