Dear parliamentarians of Australia,
With the news that ASIO director-general Mike Burgess has alleged a former Australian politician “sold out their country, party and former colleagues” to “advance the interests of a foreign regime” some years ago, we thought it would be a good time to circulate a handy list of dos and don’ts when it comes to national security.
DON’T accept money from companies linked with a foreign state and then change your policy position on that state. We *really* didn’t think we’d have to spell this one out, but here we are.
DO google any community groups you meet with, particularly if you intend to don any of their clothes. To pick another example, the Independent State of Croatia might sound great, but… look, just google that, and maybe “Ustaše” before you head along and pass on the prime minister’s best wishes.
DON’T invite a world leader into Australia’s Parliament if it’s even slightly likely the “domination” their country seeks would “lead to a new dark age“. Along similar lines, don’t invite an “agent” of a foreign power that we’re more or less at war with?
DO look closely at the cowboy hat worn by representatives of foreign lobbyists you’re seeking donations from and/or sharing your more unconventional views with — it might just contain a big camera.
DON’T be careless with your social media passwords. We cannot stress this enough. There are millions, I mean millions of foreign hackers out there ready to exploit even the smallest weakness, for one nefarious aim: to gain control of your Twitter account, “like” a single bit of pornography, and then vanish. Once that happens there is literally no way for us to find out who they are or how they did it.
