Nobody knows how they’ll react in a scary situation until they’re actually in it. Some people freak out and don’t know what to do, others manage to confront it head-on. Sometimes, if we’re trying to protect our loved ones, we may go overboard trying to make sure they’re safe.
This is something a mom had to deal with when she took two young girls out for the day to the public swimming pool. Chaos ensued when a stranger tried to barge into their changing room, and the situation escalated into something worrisome.
More info: Mumsnet
Every parent tries their best to protect their kids from scary situations, but sometimes things can get a bit too out of control
The woman had enjoyed a nice pool day with her daughter and her friend, and after swimming, they went to change in a cubicle, but a strange lady soon began banging on the door
The lady kept pounding on the door even after the mom said the cubicle was occupied and later began accusing the mom of stealing her daughter’s jacket
The stranger was extremely persistent and did not let the mom lock the cubicle while she and the girls were changing, so the mom lost her temper with the lady and called for security
The weird stranger tried to play the victim and accuse the poster of being rude, she even had the audacity to call the woman racist
Everything was going smoothly for the woman and the two girls until a stranger began pounding on their cubicle door. The persistent lady did not stop even when the OP explained that she and the girls would not be too long and that they were still changing. It seems like the other woman simply wanted to pick a fight or had other sinister motives.
It’s not easy to know how to deal with situations like this, which is why Bored Panda contacted Holly McLean, who’s known as the Mommy Answer Lady. She is a certified parent educator, mom of nine, podcaster, YouTube creator, and author of the book, ‘How to Train Your Child to Behave.’ She has more than 30 years of experience counseling and supporting parents.
Holly told us that “it is becoming more and more common to see people behave aggressively and irrationally in public. It would not be unheard of for you to be going about your normal day, and suddenly, without warning, an out-of-control, angry person will come at you with an accusation, shouting and flailing their arms.”
“Is it possible that this is because the culture has embraced the premise that feelings outweigh all else, including consideration of others? Children have been taught from a very early age that their emotions matter more than anything else and now have grown into adults living out the consequence of this flawed teaching.”
“In this environment, when a parent is faced with a clearly irrational, out-of-control, and entitled aggressor, the first thing to do is consider the safety of their children. Removing the children from the scene as soon as possible is the first order of business. Arguing with the combatant will only escalate the situation,” she explained.
In this situation, the mom did her best to protect the two young girls. She initially tried staying calm and told the woman to wait while the kids finished changing. When things seemed to get out of hand, she raised her voice and got the authorities involved. Although the girls might have been worried during the interaction, at least they were kept safe from harm.
In an intense situation, your first priority is to protect yourself and the people around you. Without thinking, you might also respond aggressively to a person who is acting in an unstable manner.
Holly McLean advised that “even when the other person is completely out-of-line, aggressive, and irrational, the best thing to do is to answer kindly, calmly, and with an empathetic tone. She also said that “what we feed grows. If you feed the aggression, aggression will grow. If, instead, you answer with kindness, it will squelch the anger and begin to seed an environment of calm.”
Even though the poster had been petrified in that situation and tried her best to resolve it, she only regretted that she had responded to the stranger with anger. She felt that it made a bad impression on her daughter and the other girl.
We asked Holly if she had any advice for a parent in a situation like this. She said it’s best to “find a way to say calming words, respond to the aggressor with empathy, and say something like, ‘I am sorry you are feeling that way. How can I help?’ In reality, when you are a parent with children in an unstable circumstance, it isn’t your job to make them feel better.”
“You would only be answering this way to calm down the aggressor and to keep your children from experiencing more drama. So even if you don’t care about how they are feeling or want to help (which is understandable under those circumstances), saying these words and asking that question will help calm them down so you can more safely move away when it is possible to do so,” she shared.
This is an extremely scary situation to find yourself in, and it’s no wonder that the mom got angry with the other woman. She really did her best in a crisis, and hopefully the young girls understood why she did what she did.
How would you have handled a terrifying interaction like this? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Folks assured the mom that she wasn’t wrong to have confronted the stranger and gave her tips if she ever found herself in a situation like that again
