A couple keep their relationship ‘spicy’ with an "intimacy menu" to pick and choose from - and make sure to have sex at least three times a week. Sheri Green, 54, and her husband, Derek, 55, say they keep their 34-year strong relationship healthy by creating a 'raunchy menu' fit with appetizers, mains and desserts to make sure they fulfil each other’s needs.
Their menu includes a foot massage, quickie sex under the 'appetizer' section. Lots of foreplay and sex and full body massage followed by sex under 'main's' and role play, and a quickie in a room other than the bedroom under desserts. The couple invented the idea after having their first daughter, Tori, now 28, and are constantly 'trying new things' to keep their sex and love life fiery.
They make sure to always have sex on a Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday and prioritise their relationship over everything else. Even when the pair are busy, they tease each other with what is to come by talking about what they want to do when they have time and are always complimenting each other.
They believe it’s important to keep things fresh to stop you turning into just ‘roommates'. Sheri, a relationship and lifestyle coach, said: “We started to feel rejected if one of us wanted intimacy but the other one didn’t so we created the intimacy menu.
“We’ll offer something off the menu, even if it’s the promise of it being in four hours time. Derek often likes to watch action movies that I’m not into, so as a compromise he’ll often massage my feet while we watch.
“That’s my sweet spot. Life is going to happen so you have to be prepared to take the relationship through everything that happens.”
Derek, who is also a relationship and lifestyle coach, said: “Life is busy so we make sure to have some sexy appetizers and make time for intimacy. We have a bit of a pre-menu too by letting each other know that we’d love to get down and dirty when we get a chance.
“Telling each other ‘I want you’ gives me butterflies. Our menu is like a living breathing third person in the relationship.
“We’re always changing it up and keeping it interesting and fresh.”
When Sheri and Derek welcomed their daughter Tori in 1994 they struggled with the change in their lifestyle and often found themselves arguing about the other feeling neglected. “The intimacy menu was born from there,” Sheri said.
“It’s there to make sure neither of us feel neglected - even if one is not in the mood or tired, something else can be offered from the menu.”
For Sheri this could be having a massage or even Derek doing the dishes. “I think when your sex life is good it’s 10 percent of the reason that makes a relationship thrive,” Sheri said.
“But if the sex is bad then it’s 90 percent of why the relationship is not thriving. 34 years is a long time to be together but we keep things spicy and try new things to keep it fresh.
"You don't want to turn into roommates or business partners."
“We make out relationship a priority everyday,” Derek added. “We’ll set our alarm a bit early for a morning snuggle or if we’re up to it the night before we’ll set it half an hour early so we can have a morning sex session.
“I’ll always smile at Sheri in the morning or tell her she looks beautiful. It still feels like we’re dating,” Sheri said.
“I’m excited to spend time with Derek still.”
Sheri and Derek say couples don’t always have to be trying something new in the bedroom to keep things fresh. “It might just be a new activity to do together,” Derek said.
“In a relationship each partner has to own part of it and each give and take a little.”
Derek and Sheri are not afraid to say they have a great sex life. “Life is busy so we always try to have sex on a Wednesday evening, and Saturday and Sunday morning,” Sheri said.
“We’re thinking of adding another day. But we make each other feel loved throughout every day.
“We communicate everything so we know each others wants and needs. A relationship ends when someone stops auditioning for the role.”
Examples of their intimacy menu
Appetizers -
Foot massage
Quickie sex (10 mins)
Main course -
Lots of foreplay (massage) + sex
Full body massage + sex
Shower + sex
Dessert -
Quickie in a room of choice (not bedroom)
Fantasy of the moment (role play)
Additional (4th) day of choice for quickie
