A couple keep on top of their busy family life by scheduling a weekly admin meeting – and say it has strengthened their relationship. Rachael Shepard-Ohta, 34, and her husband, Marley, 37, began arranging the sit downs after her therapist suggested it may help - and set an agenda each week together. The pair keep a note of anything they want to mention throughout the week before bringing it up to each other on a Thursday morning – when their three kids, aged five, three, and three months, are at school or sleeping.
Rachael and Marley, a clinical social worker, start off by expressing their gratitude to each other before planning the tasks that need to be done that week – such as booking appointments and checking for any birthday parties coming up. Rachael says the meetings have made Marley “appreciate” her more as she had been "struggling with the mental load" she was taking on. Rachael, a sleep consultant, said: “We treat it like an appointment at the same time each week.
“We sit down with our computers. Over the week we keep track of what we want to talk about in a notes app in our phones. We start with gratitude and appreciation. So we'll say what things we liked the other did that week and have a moment to connect.
“Then we look at what needs to be planned. We look at booking appointments and checking for any birthday parties coming up. Then we decided who does what based on who it makes most sense to do it. At the end, we do any tasks or errands that need to be done right away and assign the others by each making a note in our phone.
"We choose who books the appointments or do it together if it's urgent. I feel it has definitely strengthened our relationship. It’s made my husband appreciate me more.”
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Rachael and Marley started giving the meetings a try four months ago when Rachael’s therapist suggested it may help. Rachael said: “I was talking to her about how I feel I take on a lot of the mental load.
“She suggested we give this a try.”
Now the couple sit down once a week to plan what needs to be done. Rachael said: “It makes both of us feel more organised.
“By doing this we don’t spend the week checking in on each other about a million things.”
They try to limit their meetings to 20 minutes but will sometimes spend up to an hour talking things through. Rachael said: “If we need to make travel plans or something like that it will often take longer.
“We always start off with what we appreciate as it starts the meeting off with a nice tone rather than it being just business. It gives us time to connect.”
Rachael says she would encourage other couples to give a weekly meeting a go. She said: “Everyone can put their own spin on it.
“You could do it on a date for example. I feel so much more appreciated and supported. It’s taken some stress of the day to day.
“We feel like more of a team.”
Marley said: "It gives us structure for sometimes annoying or uncomfortable conversations so they don't leak into our entire week. It's made me less stressed knowing I have a designated time to get things done for our family.
"It's nice to have a time to reflect and plan together and I didn't realise before how much my wife was managing."
Agenda meeting plan:
Gratitudes and appreciation
What could I do better this week?
Future planning: next few weeks
Future planning: three plus months
Needs to get done ASAP
