‘Bankruptcy” is a surprisingly amorphous term. For poor people, it means not having any money. For corporations and the super-wealthy it means a nifty legal strategy that can shield their riches from lawsuits. And for Rudy Giuliani, the disgraced former mayor of New York City and personal attorney of Donald Trump, it means being forced to try to subsist on a measly $43,000 (£34,200) a month.
Half a million dollars in spending money a year might seem a princely sum to the common man, but “Sir” Rudy (recipient of an honorary knighthood) is anything but. We’re talking about a gentleman with elevated tastes here: a bon vivant who, during a legal battle with his estranged third wife, was accused of spending $7,000 on fountain pens and $12,000 on cigars over a five-month period. In that same timeframe, his ex-wife’s lawyer claimed he spent $286,000 on his alleged lover, $165,000 on personal travel and $447,938 “for his own enjoyment”. That’s a lot of enjoyment.
Giuliani’s spendthrift ways are now facing legal roadblocks. In December, a judge ordered the 79-year-old to pay $148m in damages to two election workers he had baselessly accused of rigging votes in the 2020 US election. Almost immediately, Giuliani – who owes creditors $152m in total – filed for bankruptcy. Because he is a responsible citizen, Giuliani prepared a strict budget and told a federal bankruptcy court in January that he would spend no more than $43,000 a month. This was supposed to cover necessities and not include frivolities such as entertainment.
Alas, budgeting doesn’t seem to come naturally to Giuliani, who ended up frittering away almost $120,000 in January alone (more than double the median US annual salary). It is not entirely clear where all this money went but, according to the New York Times, the information Giuliani provided to creditors’ lawyers listed “60 transactions on Amazon, multiple entertainment subscriptions, various Apple services… Uber rides and payment of some of his business partner’s personal credit card bill”. He hasn’t submitted detailed information about his finances since, so it’s unclear if this level of spending has continued. Still, someone needs to change that man’s Amazon password, stat.
By now, it seems clear that Giuliani, whose fall from grace has been dizzying, needs quite a bit of help. And, you know what? I am happy to give it to him. I may not be a financial adviser, but I am a geriatric millennial who came into the working world during the 2008 recession – which means I have heard a lot of budgeting tips over the years. Don’t eat avocado toast if you ever want to buy a house, don’t get takeaway coffee, live on foraged beans and pond water, never leave the house. No doubt you’ve seen all these tips too – there’s always a helpful multimillionaire doling out advice to us plebs on how to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. Kirstie Allsopp, the daughter of landed gentry, for example, has insinuated the affordable housing crisis is overblown, and anyone can buy a house if they just cut out Netflix and gym memberships. More recently, the CEO of Kellogg’s suggested that families who were having a hard time making ends meet might consider eating cereal for dinner.
Giuliani can certainly try swapping out his lobster bisque dinners for Rice Krispies, but I’m not sure it’ll make a dent in the $152m he owes. It might be more effective, I reckon, if he takes a break from marrying and divorcing. This appears to be an extremely expensive habit of his: thrice-wedded Giuliani has spent millions on acrimonious divorce proceedings. (Fun related fact: Giuliani’s first wife was his second cousin and, after 14 years, they annulled the marriage because they hadn’t got the correct dispensations for cousin-marrying.) Another top financial tip is to avoid being charged with multiple crimes: lawyers are very expensive.
If he can’t save his way out of financial ruin, Giuliani can do what conservatives like him are always telling the rest of us to do: work harder. He faces being disbarred, so lawyering probably isn’t an option. But the man can always go back to selling personalised videos at $375 a pop on Cameo. He has clearly got a knack for it: last year, a video of him reciting “I’m a little teapot” went viral. Now if he’s just a little teapot 405,333 more times, he should be out of hot water.
• Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist
