Re your report (‘They want the truth’: Meet the woman who finds the graves of stillborn babies, 28 May), in 1958 our first baby was among six tiny ones who died, when she was only five days old, in St George’s hospital, London, due to a virus in the maternity wing.
We never knew where she was buried because it was a Jewish tradition that if a baby dies under the age of 30 days, it will be buried with another unknown Jewish adult. This practice was to encourage us to look forward to having more children, rather than forever grieve for the loved one we lost. We never forgot her – I can still remember her face to this day, although I am now 92, but we did go on to have four more beloved children. The pain never completely left us, but this tradition helped us come to terms with it.
Margaret Owen
London
• The tragedy of bereaved parents being separated at birth from stillborn children is obviously real. I was kept away from my brother’s funeral (he was seven and died in the 1949 polio epidemic) and subsequently I’ve realised it was damaging. However, I’m not sure about MPs jumping on the bandwagon and demanding the government apologise.
It is probably quite true that professionals at the time believed that the policy was the right one, just as my parents thought it was best if I was protected from my brother’s death. Why should we apologise for what was a genuinely well-meaning mistake? What mistakes are we making today for which future generations will feel free to blame us?
Jeremy Cushing
Wiveliscombe, Somerset
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• The top letter was amended on 3 June 2024. An earlier version said that the Jewish tradition of burying a baby with an unknown Jewish adult was for those babies who died under a week old; this should have said under 30 days old.
