It’s Boris Johnson’s birthday on Monday, so many happy returns and all that. And what a way to spend it.
Parliament will debate the Privileges Committee report – which will be hours of embarrassing detail – then vote on his future.
Not ideal. He probably won’t watch it, just go out in the sun and have some wine and a bit of cake instead. Which is what got him into trouble in the first place.
It will be a spectacularly unedifying end, but quite an appropriate one, to a political career that has seen him dubbed “the most disgraced former prime minister in British history”. That quote was from the Lib Dems, who are really not holding back.
Fair, though. They want him stripped of the £115k you get every year for being a former PM, arguing that having misled Parliament to the extent he did should make him ineligible.
The thing is, deep down, he won’t mind. Parliament and the Tory Party were always just vehicles for him. He’s never been serious. The priority was always Project Johnson, not the country.
I spoke to various Tory backbenchers this week, some loyal even up to the most recent events.
But that’s gone now. And people are queuing up to weigh in on Monday. There is real poison around in Mr Johnson’s direction.
The party is unforgiving of a man who has done so much damage. It will be brutal watching but worth a look if the cricket has finished – which at this rate, it might have.
There was a little bit of talk in Westminster about him resurfacing somehow but that has pretty much gone now. There are still a few rabid followers but even they are getting fed-up with the ridicule for continuing to cheerlead.
There was other talk about Mr Johnson forming a splinter party, or latching on to one of those other ones floating around. No one sees it happening. Too much hard work.
The story that defines him, for me, was told to me by someone who worked with him while he was Mayor of London. She said the key to doing business with Mr Johnson was if you ever had a meeting, to get anything important done in the first 10 minutes. After that, his attention was elsewhere.
He didn’t care. Never has, never will. The Privileges Committee has spelled it out in black and white.
It wanted a 90-day suspension and his Parliamentary pass revoked. Unheard of.
But that’s the depth of feeling. That’s what this man has done.
The horoscope for his birthday says he should be “satisfied with the ordinary and unusual”, adding: “Novel ideas or insights could be more damaging than useful.”
Sound advice. “Hectic emotional energy” is also mentioned, which makes me think there really is some validity in astrology.
