How does a South Delhi girl, who’s spent nearly three decades of her 32 years living within a 15-km radius, and whose homemaker mother and businessman father had all the usual expectations from her, get into the women-focused sex toys business? Luckily, for consumers of That Sassy Thing, in one word, patriarchy, and her lived experience of it.
In a country where misinformation and ignorance thrive in the bedroom, usually at the cost of female pleasure, the nearly three-year-old sex-ed first, intimate wellness brand that Sachee Malhotra co-founded with her husband Himanshu, whom she met in Gurgaon on the outskirts of her contained life, is a frontrunner among a handful of companies and individuals creating a body of free, accessible online sex education. According to a 2023 survey by Allo Health, 66% of Indians rely on social media platforms to learn about sex, sexual health and pleasure.
Malhotra’s company tied up with sex educators and trauma-informed sex therapists to provide reliable, useful information to women and built its community with plain speak: shame is lame, porn isn’t real sex, and flavoured products can give you a yeast infection.
Of course this being India, even a business born with the idea of celebrating female pleasure must worry about men’s feelings. Thankfully, men are thinking more about their partners’ satisfaction. “Purchase patterns now show that 50% of our buyers are men. The idea of men finding pleasure products threatening in the bedroom is changing,” says Malhotra.
Homegrown products
Women indulge this insecurity too, worrying how their partners will handle the introduction of toys. “Buying one for each helps bridge the gap,” Malhotra says. That’s partly why her company recently introduced the Taco, their first playful offering for men. It is a temperature-controlled vibrating stroker with an open-ended sleeve, quite like that Mexican favourite.
That’s another thing about homegrown sex toys. We much prefer that they are not “phallic-looking” and instead resemble innocuous objects such as paperweights and bluetooth speakers. “They’re products you can feel comfortable to leave on your nightstand,” says Malhotra.
Apparently we worry a lot about uncomfortable conversations at airport security. “‘How do I travel with it?’ is one of the most searched topics on our blog,” says Malhotra, who adds that one of her big learnings in this business is that she has to be part of the culture to change the culture. In case you’re wondering, they fall in the power banks category on planes.
Women often slide into Malhotra’s direct messages on LinkedIn and Instagram to thank her. “Recently, a woman in a 15-year marriage who had never experienced an orgasm, tried our products and said she finally experienced joy.” I can’t help but think that Marie Kondo’s popular catchphrase ‘spark joy’ is a more appropriate descriptor for Malhotra’s business than as a way to help you decide which T-shirts to keep.
Joy was not something Malhotra associated with herself growing up. At 15, she was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). “I grew up as a girl who was fat and had excessive body hair and who was bullied for that,” says Malhotra, who used to sit in the classroom with her palms covering her chin to hide her facial hair. She had her share of toxic relationships and grew up feeling extremely uncomfortable in her own skin, always under pressure to try hair-removal options, some of them quite painful, and to lose weight. This impacted her confidence and her intimate life. “It’s taken me a lot of time and a lot of work to be comfortable with my body,” she says.
Exploring diversity
When she travelled to the U.S. to study brand communication strategy and advertising, Malhotra found herself on the cusp of the sex-positive revolution. Brands were exploring diversity in gender and sexuality; consumers wanted conscious brands with natural ingredients and when she returned home, she noticed that her country hadn’t caught up.
A short stint with one of the largest condom brands opened her eyes to the hyper-masculine positioning of the sexual wellness industry. “I realised what was messed up with the category. The name of the company itself promoted rape culture.” That was also the time she met Himanshu and together they began discussing how to fill the glaring gap they saw in this industry.
The company’s first massager was the Lit, an external clitoral stimulator powered by suction technology, the perfect toy for women who had always just depended on their partners. The idea came after a conversation at a school reunion where many women revealed that though they were sexually active they rarely felt satisfied.
This being India, I ask Malhotra how her parents feel about her sex toys business? “My dad has been really supportive and has always seen it as a business. Mum worries log kya kahenge? [what will people say?],” says Malhotra. “One of my cousins was getting married and I wanted to gift her our products, but my mother was worried, what if the in-laws are there when the gifts are opened?”
The columnist is a Bengaluru-based journalist and the co-founder of India Love Project on Instagram.
