Stephen Colbert
On Thursday evening, Stephen Colbert addressed news that Donald Trump plans to release a book of letters. “Well, it’s good to know he finally learned his letters,” the Late Show host quipped.
The book, which features letters written by others sent to the former president, will reportedly cost $99. “Yes, it sounds expensive, but how else should he know? He’s never bought a book,” Colbert joked.
In other news, “it’s been a bad couple of weeks for the Fox Fascist & Friends” due to the revelations from the defamation lawsuit by Dominion Voting Systems that the network’s executives and anchors privately hated Trump and knowingly endorsed his election lies anyway.
The trove of private messages have reportedly angered the network’s news anchors, who worry they will “further sully the reputation of the networks ‘straight news’ journalists”.
“Really? That’s like the people at Taco Bell worrying that the cool ranch and fiery Doritos locos tacos is going to further sully the reputation of their ass-blasting salt pockets,” Colbert mocked.
According to one Fox source in the Daily Beast, “it’s just a really bad time to be working here”.
“Yes, unlike the golden age of their journalism: warning us about woke Lego and longing for Mr Potato Head’s lost penis,” Colbert joked.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers continued to relish the “nonstop avalanche of embarrassing revelations in the Dominion lawsuit against Fox News”, including particularly damning texts from host Tucker Carlson.
Carlson, an ardent on-air election denier and Trump supporter, wrote in private shortly after the 2020 election: “We’re all pretending we’ve got a lot to show for it, because admitting what a disaster it’s been is too tough to digest. But come on. There isn’t really an upside to Trump.”
“Look, I know he was never going to say that on camera,” said Meyers, “but it would’ve been so fun to see Tucker after the election being honest on TV like a shellshocked basketball coach giving a post-game press conference after losing by 50 points.
“It’s such a stunning admission that undercuts the entire premise of the Trump presidency and the devil’s bargain the conservative movement has made with him,” he added. “It exposes their entire project as a sham and a fraud. They debased themselves for a guy they were personally disgusted by and at the end of it they admitted they had nothing to show for it.
“It was all a lie and they all knew it, and now it’s all coming out.”
Meyers pointed to one message from host Maria Bartiromo, who said “to be honest, our audience doesn’t want to hear about a peaceful transition”.
“That’s the key right there. That explains it all,” said Meyers. “Fox’s audience doesn’t want to hear the truth, so Fox chose not to tell them. Fox News doesn’t deliver the news, they take requests and do their best to fulfill them. They’re basically overpaid wedding DJs.”
The Daily Show
And on the Daily Show, guest host Marlon Wayans enjoyed the social media scandal engulfing Tennessee’s lieutenant governor, Randy McNally, who used his blue-check verified government Instagram account to leave flirty comments on a young gay influencer’s racy photos.
A spokesperson for McNally, a 79-year-old Republican politician in a state that has recently passed several laws targeting LGBTQ people, defended his online behavior: “Trying to imply something sinister or inappropriate about a great-grandfather’s use of social media says more about the mind of the leftwing operative making the implication than it does about Randy McNally,” said the statement.
“Does he always use the proper emoji at the proper time? Maybe not. But he enjoys interacting with constituents and Tennesseans of all religions, backgrounds and orientations on social media … ”
"I'm a great-grandfather" is NOT a good excuse for being weird on Instagram pic.twitter.com/ingrejZSgw
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) March 10, 2023
The spokesperson added that McNally has “no intention of stopping”.
“Yeah, I bet he has no intention of stopping,” said Wayans. “I don’t like to stop while I’m jerking, either.
“I love his excuse, though,” he continued. “His excuse is he’s a great-grandfather. That doesn’t make it better! The worst part is that you know he probably called his grandson in to teach him how to use Instagram – ‘Hey Blake, grandpa wants to tell this hot young twink that he can ride my face like a unicycle. What emoji should Papaw use?’”
