A Co Tyrone mother has opened up on the devastation of her son’s suicide after the first anniversary of his death.
Dungannon man Conor McHugh died last March aged 31, having ‘fought for all his life’ and overcoming health setbacks including a brain injury and testicular cancer.
He had completed a Youth Work degree and had a passion for helping young people to make the best of themselves in difficult circumstances.
READ MORE: Conor McHugh: Tributes to popular Dungannon man after sudden death
Speaking to Belfast Live a year on from Conor’s death, his mum Brenda says the family are still coming to terms with the impact of his death.
“It feels like it just happened last week, that’s how raw it still is,” Brenda says.
“It was just disbelief to get that knock on the door. Conor is the last person on the planet that I ever thought would do something like this.
“It just wasn’t him, and the feeling we had was just pure disbelief.
“Our Conor fought for life all of his life, so for him to do this just wasn’t the Conor that we knew.
“The hardest bit is that Conor had fought for his life, all of his life and for him to end it himself just doesn’t make sense. That’s why we still find it very difficult to come to terms with it.
“My son has lost a brother that he shared a bedroom with for 22 years, that’s a lot to take in for anyone.”
Having been born 14 weeks premature, Conor suffered a number of health issues in his early days before receiving a severe brain injury when he was 9 years old, which had a significant impact on his life, Brenda says.
“His whole personality changed, his diet changed. Before he was this outgoing, active boy
“He had a great sense of humour and was real fanatical about things. He was always a real positive person.
“He might have had what we would have called his ‘blow ups’ but those were things he couldn’t help with his brain injury. He was always forward thinking and forward planning all of the time.
“He would have been termed vulnerable but he wouldn’t have liked you saying that.”
Later suffering from an alcohol addiction, Brenda says Conor’s life changed after the birth of his son and he used his own life experiences to better the lives of others.
“He went to AA and had got himself right, then he had his son and went on to do a degree,” Brenda added.
“Having Aodhan was the change for Conor to better himself and that’s when he started to do voluntary work and then that led on to paid employment.
“He was all the time wanting to save young people, his dream job was to work in the prison service.
Conor had sought help for mental health problems in the past, having been diagnosed with testicular cancer which led him to periods of stress and anxiety, and Brenda believes it was one of the issues causing him difficulties in the lead up to his death.
“When he was 29 having come through all he had come through he got diagnosed with testicular cancer.
“Even when he was going through that he would have been going to his youth groups promoting self testing to keep the young people he was with aware - everything he did was for the betterment of those young people.
“He flew through it and we were so proud of him. He went to his doctor as soon as he realised there were changes.
“But he had a serious fear of cancer. He had got the all clear but he was so afraid of it coming back.
“He had got an appointment for his first yearly scan just to check in on everything and he was afraid of that.”
Brenda urged anyone who is experiencing difficulties with their mental health to reach out to someone who can help, however difficult it may be.
The grieving mum says local charity the Niamh Louise Foundation has proved invaluable to them as a family in coming to terms with Conor’s death.
“Tell someone - there are organisations out there who are more than happy to help.
“Lift the phone, even if you feel like you can’t talk then just listen. Do not bottle it up.
“There’s very little I can say about other families going through what we are going through. It’s not easy and it doesn’t get any easier, but there are organisations out there that will help.”
If you or someone you know is in distress or despair, call the freephone 24/7 crisis helpline Lifeline on 0808 808 8000.
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