Christmas is an exciting and magical time of year – especially for children – but for separated families, it can feel stressful and overwhelming for everyone involved.
And while some will be busy stuffing the kids’ stockings with the top Christmas toys and cosy gifts, those faced with trying to navigate co-parenting at this time of year may have other things on their mind too.
Even some of the A-listers have shared their difficulties with their new normal, such as Megan Fox who said "I get in the bath and cry a lot about it because it is hard" as well as British actress Sheridan Smith who recently opened up about co-parenting and mum guilt.
With Christmas just around the corner and the pressure for this time of year to be merry and bright, Jennifer Moore, Legal Director at Rayden Solicitors and expert in child contact and custody disputes has shared her tips for how to positively co-parent over the Christmas period.
1. Consider the longer term
No one is perfect at co-parenting – even those who have been doing it a long time – so finding a dynamic that works for both of you might take a bit of trial and error.
“If the separation is new, and the children are young, there will be many years – potentially decades – to navigate, as co-parents,” says Jennifer.
“Effective co-parenting hinges on maintaining healthy communication methods with your ex. Consider each interaction with them with your child's wellbeing in mind.”
2. Keep the ‘grown-up talk’ out of earshot
It can be difficult to compose if something has triggered you in the moment, but Jennifer recommends you keep the 'grown-up talk' out of earshot for the sake of your children.
She points to some research published in the National Library of Medicine that "revealed conflict between parents poses the greatest risk for harm to children – not the divorce itself."
And with this in mind, "it’s extremely important to work through any conflict together without involving your child," she advises.
3. Consider mediation if communication is difficult
If your co-parenting relationship is fresh and you're finding it difficult to deal with family conflicts between yourselves, the family law expert suggests involving a third party to help mediate.
"These are useful mechanisms for agreeing on parenting principles, such as having the same rules and boundaries in place in respect of religious traditions," Jennifer adds.
4. Implement a parenting plan
While it's not required by law after you separate, a parenting plan can outline the care and support for your children or child going forward.
Jennifer explains: "A parenting plan is a written plan worked out between parents after they separate. It can help clarify the arrangements and set down what each parent expects of the other when the child is in their care."
For more advice this time of year, here are 10 ways to show your support to someone suffering from baby loss at Christmas and 5 ways to teach kids empathy skills at Christmas.
