The Heist Before Christmas
8pm, Sky Max
When we first meet 12–year-old Mikey (Bamber Todd), the star of this comedy-drama set in Northern Ireland, he has just set fire to his school’s Christmas tree. His family is impoverished so December is just one long disappointment. What unfolds is bleaker than you might expect from a festive drama, but all the better for it. James Nesbitt and Timothy Spall star as two Santas involved in a heist – but the show is stolen by Todd. Phil Harrison
The Hills Are Alive With the Kanneh-Masons
5.40pm, BBC Two
Britain’s most unreasonably talented musical family love The Sound of Music, so they’re off to visit the film’s locations and play its tunes. Sheku, Mariatu, Aminata, Jeneba, Konya, Braimah and Isata all contribute to new arrangements of Edelweiss, Climb Ev’ry Mountain and the rest. Jack Seale
Mog’s Christmas
7.45pm, Channel 4
Judith Kerr’s classic cat character has a fright at the size of the Christmas tree and scrambles to safety on the roof in this magical tale. Benedict Cumberbatch, Adjoa Andoh and Zawe Ashton are among the familiar voices in the cast and there is a sweet theme tune by Sophie Ellis-Bextor. Hannah Verdier
Beyond Paradise
9pm, BBC One
It’s Christmas in Shipton Abbott but the mood isn’t all that festive. There’s a string of apparently inexplicable burglaries for DI Goodman (Kris Marshall) to deal with. Worse still, head office is breathing down his neck – with resources stretched, the station is threatened with closure. As ever, it’s gentle to the point of anodyne. PH
Not Going Out Christmas Special
10pm, BBC One
This milestone 100th episode is a headlong farce that begins with Lucy coercing Lee into hosting a lonely local pensioner for Christmas dinner. He turns out to be a foul-mouthed Naked Attraction fan in a scratchy Santa costume. Graeme Virtue
A Ghost Story for Christmas: Lot No 249
10pm, BBC Two
This year, Mark Gatiss’s Christmas chiller is a creepy adaptation of an Arthur Conan Doyle story about three academics (Kit Harington, Freddie Fox and Colin Ryan) falling out over a bundle of Egyptian remains. For all their wisdom and curiosity, might they be messing with forces beyond their control? PH
Film choices
The Holiday, 3.25pm, Channel 5
Forget the nonsense casting, which implies that both Kate Winslet and Jack Black are too unconventional to star in a Hollywood romcom, because The Holiday is a sweetness overload. An American and a Brit swap houses, and both of them fall in love, and if this hasn’t bloomed into an immortal Christmas classic then something has gone terribly wrong. Stuart Heritage
Miracle on 34th Street, 5.45pm, Channel 4
As a child, this film had a habit of leaving you feeling short-changed – you wanted to see a magical film about Santa, not a boring legal drama – but 1994’s version of Miracle on 34th Street truly does improve with age, not least thanks to Richard Attenborough’s ability to twinkle with mischievous joy as Kriss Kringle. SH
Silent Night, 9.15pm, Sky Cinema Premiere
The perfect festive bait and switch. Sounds like a Christmas movie, is actually a John Woo film about a father going on a bloody revenge spree after he watches his son die in the crossfire of a gang. Perhaps wait until granny is in bed before putting this on. SH
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Film4, 10.50pm
Not remotely Christmassy, Quentin Tarantino’s alternative history of the Charles Manson murders is extremely violent. A long, meandering tale of a star (Leonardo DiCaprio) coming to the end of his career, the whole thing bursts to life in the final act when Brad Pitt’s laconic bodyguard turns on some home invaders with so much ferocity that it’s like watching a live-action Itchy and Scratchy movie. Scheduled perfectly to ensure that the bloodiest bits happen on Christmas Day itself. SH
