Christine McGuinness has shared how it was difficult for her to turn her back on her marriage to Paddy McGuinness.
In a new BBC documentary, the mum-of-three admitted she was unhappy in the relationship and ultimately stayed with him for "too long". Christine, 34, said her autism made it difficult to walk away.
She added that she needs a new chapter in her life and how petrified she initially felt about the breakup. The reality TV star is seen throwing clothes away shortly after splitting from Paddy, 49, on the programme.
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The model said: "I felt like I said in the film I didn’t want my family to ever fall apart. And that’s why I stayed married.
"As an autistic woman, I like to stay where I am comfortable. I like things to stay the same. And so that’s something I suppose I chose to do... But sometimes change has to happen.”
She added: "I was only 19 when I met [Paddy]. And for the last 15 years my role has been wife and mum.
"I think when I got diagnosed, I kind of set out on a mission to figure out who I was, because I’ve played that many different roles and not really knowing which part of it was actually me or which one was mostly me."
While emptying her wardrobe, Christine said: "With things like my marriage, that’s massive. I’ve only had this one man in my life for 15 years. I can’t imagine living with anybody else.
"I don’t know what it’s like to date. I can’t remember being single.
"I am just going into a new chapter... on my own, which is petrifying for someone who doesn’t like change."
Christine and Paddy married in 2011 and are parents to Felicity and twins Leo and Penelope. All the children are autistic.
The couple announced last June that they had split up. It was six months after their moving BBC documentary Our Family and Autism and Christine was diagnosed as autistic during the making of that programme.
When they announced their split, Christine and Paddy said in a statement: “Our main focus is to continue loving and supporting our children. We’ll always be a loving family, we still have a great relationship and still live happily in our home together.”
Christine McGuinness: Unmasking My Autism is due to air on March 15 at 9pm on BBC1 and iPlayer.
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