Rilun Li says racist phrases like "sorry, not into Asians" on gay dating app profiles make him feel uncomfortable.
The 27-year-old moved from China to Australia more than eight years ago, hoping to start a new life in "this friendly country".
But despite the time that has passed, he still feels marginalised in the LGBT community because of his race.
"I feel I am an outsider," he said.
As the annual Mardi Gras celebrations take place in Sydney this weekend, Mr Li is speaking out about his experiences.
They ranged from a particularly "humiliating" incident a few years ago at a nightclub to the racist language he's seeing on gay dating apps.
"I was pushed and [someone] yelled: 'f***ing Asians'," he said.
"I had done nothing wrong and couldn't understand why I was treated like a shit."
Mr Li wants racism in the LGBT community to be called out.
"People need to point out the racism [they] have been experiencing in order to help get rid of unfair stereotypes about Asians," he said.
Racism on dating apps
Racism on dating apps was under the spotlight in June 2020 when one of the most popular gay dating apps, Grindr, removed an ethnicity filter — which allowed users to screen out people from certain backgrounds — and updated user agreements.
Grindr's community guidelines also explicitly ban racial abuse and discrimination.
At the time, gay Australians of colour pointed out that sexual racism on dating apps was still "rife".
Two years on, Latrobe University researcher Dr Gene Lim said not much had changed except that expressions of racism were more subtle.
Dr Lim wrote a PhD thesis on sexual racism experienced by the Asian LGBT community in Australia.
He said one example of racism seen on the apps was when users expressed a sexual preference against a particular race.
A search on Grindr this week turned up a dating profile stating: "No Asians or Blacks [please]."
"[But] this is not just an attitude that white people … hold, a lot of Asian people have the same attitudes," he said.
The ABC contacted Grindr for comment but did not receive a response by publication time.
Dr Lim said a sexual preference for a particular race was based on preconceived stereotypes and was therefore considered sexual racism.
Lucas Sun, who emigrated to Australia from China in 2010 and is now in a same-sex relationship, disagrees.
He does not believe his personal dating preferences is a form of racism.
"I prefer men with similar cultural backgrounds as mine, so it is easy to communicate [with them] and can share the same ideas for our future," he said.
Mr Li said he respected people's preferences but agreed with Dr Lim that expressions of sexual preference based on race were racist.
What can you do if you experience sexual racism?
Dr Lim said one way to deal with sexual racism was to try to step back from the situation and put it in a broader context.
"I think a lot of it has to do with first recognising that it's an issue, but also not sort of catastrophising it," he said.
"Some random guy doesn't want to date you, that's fine.
Racist incidents can be reported to the Australian Human Rights Commission.
Race Discrimination Commissioner Chin Tan said, "all racial intolerance and hatred is unacceptable".
"Addressing people's experiences of racism, including experiences of unconscious and subtle forms of racism, has been an issue consistently raised through the Australia Human Rights Commission's consultations and submissions process for the National Anti-Racism Framework," he said.
Mr Li has taken matters into his own hands by blocking offensive profiles on dating apps.
Grindr guidelines on blocking and reporting people breaking the app rules can be found on its website.
William Yang, a prominent photographer in the Asian LGBT community, agreed racism and ageism were prevalent in the LGBT community in Australia.
But compared to his dating experience several years ago, he said there was "more tolerance for Asians now than there was then".
Dr Lim said experiences of sexual racism could impact the victim's physical and mental health.
"We know that the impact is so much deeper than just like a momentary feeling of hurt, shock and dismay," he said.
"It has a very sustained, a very negative effect [on] how you see yourself and how you approach future situations with dating.
"[It could lead to] lower self-esteem, with low life satisfaction.
"Studies found it could be linked to body image issues, anaerobic steroid abuse, and even sexual health issues."
He said it was important for people to reflect on their own attitudes.
"A lot of people take offence to being called racist, rather than trying to examine if what they've done is hurtful or harmful," he said.
