GLOBAL BRITAIN
Let’s face it, the Fifa Club World Cup has never quite caught the public’s imagination here in Blighty. Not like the old Intercontinental Cup, which saw Celtic and Racing Club throw hands, and Manchester United exchange pleasantries with Estudiantes. Two thoroughly entertaining late-sixties donnybrooks that have gone down in sporting folklore, with the caveat that obviously nobody wants to see that sort of thing, won’t somebody think of the kids, etc. Still, come on. Bertie Auld refusing to leave after being one of six men to be sent off, instead playing the rest of the match? George Best bobbing and weaving in the middle of a comic-book cloud of fists and boots? You’d pay plenty of folding money for that sort of nonsense today, and throw in some coins too.
But the Club World Cup? The Fiver for one remembers very little about it. It’s not exactly thrown up too many tales for the ages since its inception in 2000. Erm. There was that time Manchester United’s participation caused them to break the FA Cup, wasn’t there? Or how about that day Liverpool were forced to play Monterrey while also facing Aston Villa in a parallel dimension in order to maintain the integrity of a trophy with three handles? And, er, Chelsea have had a go as well, haven’t they. Did any of them ever win it? Probably. Or maybe not. Can’t remember.
Chelsea are having another crack at pretending to care this year. They’ll face Palmeiras in tomorrow night’s Abu Dhabi final, a couple of days after seeing off Al Hilal in the semi thanks to Romelu Lukaku’s possibly-confidence-restoring-though-let’s-see-how-it-pans-out close-range poke. Thomas Tuchel missed that four-yard screamer, on account of being stranded at home with the Covid. The club hope he can post a negative test today, then win a 30-hour race to the UAE for the big one.
While we’re almost certainly not going to remember the result of the game this time next week, never mind next year, here’s to Tuchel making it in time, thus creating another of those ripping yarns to file alongside United copping the flak for New Labour’s hubris and Villa thrashing Liverpool’s kids in the Rumbelows Cup. Godspeed, Thomas! Keep those Club World Cup anecdotes coming thick and fast!
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“When reality hits you and you’re alone in the room and everything is still dark, then it is difficult to keep that positive mindset. Even when I was totally down and felt my life was ruined, I still kept the discipline for the task. I could have felt sorry for myself, I could have cried and got very down, but I did everything I had to do” – Norway and Galatasaray defender Omar Elabdellaoui talks to Will Unwin about his remarkable recovery from a firework accident that left him unable to see.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Sandwiched in the 38 hours between the Premier League’s midweek and weekend action, it’s Football Weekly Extra!
FIVER LETTERS
“Re: West Ham’s sponsor woes: at what point do the Hammers return to this shirt?” – JJ Zucal.
“My first thought after watching Wolves v Arsenal was: the Bundesliga may have Red Bull Leipzig, but at least the Premier League has Red Card Arsenal. Much more entertaining” – Guy Robert.
“Re: Dion Dublin [Thursday’s Fiver]. If he can make a catchphrase out of ‘stairs going up to the bedrooms’, then he can make HABOUTYWENTDWHD work” – Jim Hearson.
“Big Paper reported today on a South Korean academic who reads washed-up rubbish. I had no idea The Fiver was available there” – Ian Copestake.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Ian Copestake.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Kurt Zouma will be available for West Ham’s trip to Leicester on Sunday despite calls to drop the defender over a video of him kicking and slapping his cat. “We as a club took that decision and I stand by that,” said David Moyes.
Derby have reached a settlement with Middlesbrough to end their ongoing legal dispute. Boro missed out on the 2018-19 Championship play-offs behind Derby, who were later found to have breached financial rules.
Ralf Rangnick has called on Manchester United’s forwards to score more, and defended Harry Maguire. “I think he had an outstanding game against West Ham,” Rangnick mused as the centre-back stepped on several rakes behind him.
Jürgen Klopp liked what he saw from new signing Luis Díaz on his first Liverpool start. “It was probably one of the best [first games] I ever saw from a new player, because he looked completely natural,” big Jürg trilled.
Eric Dier will miss Sunday’s game with Wolves as he continues to recover from thigh-ouch. “Unfortunately he’s not fit,” sobbed the Spurs manager, Antonio Conte. “For sure, he’s a big loss for us. He needs a bit more time to recover.”
Frank Lampard’s Everton will be without Yerry Mina for up to 10 weeks. “It’s a strong injury around his quad and disappointing for us all,” sighed Lamps.
Wilfried Zaha will stay on penalty duties for Crystal Palace despite his woeful scuffer against Norwich. “People always remember the last penalty but when you look at his record on penalties it has been really good,” Vieira cheered.
And Rúben Neves couldn’t resist a dig at Arsenal after the 10-man Gunners won at Molineux. “We saw the way they celebrated the win and that shows the level we are,” fumed Neves. “It was like they won the league.”
STILL WANT MORE?
Only nine Premier League games this weekend, but still 10 things to look out for. Find out how we did it, here.
Manchester United ditched Ole Gunnar Solskjær but they have not really progressed under Ralf Rangnick, notes Josh Wright.
Premier League match previews will be dropping here.
And if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
