Perhaps Chelsea are in no position to be turning their noses up at Cristiano Ronaldo after all.
They can’t score, they can’t defend, they have players wanting out and they reek of complacency. Thomas Tuchel pulled no punches in his damning assessment of his team after they were crushed 4-0 by an Arsenal team preparing for the new season over an identical amount of time.
“There’s a difference between being tired and playing like this,” fumed the Blues boss. “We were absolutely beaten by a team that does not play in the Champions League next season. A team that is behind us - yet it seems, at the moment, far ahead of us.
“The worrying part is the level of commitment, physically and mentally. It was far higher for Arsenal than us.”
Impressive new defender Kalidou Koulibaly (“He was the best player on the pitch for us.”) did indeed look the real deal during his 13-minute debut, suggesting the defending bit should sort itself out.
But this was an education for new owners Todd Boehly and Hansjorg Wyss. A warning that for all the bits around the edges - the revenues, the stadium plans, the brand and the commercial partnerships - the area that matters most is the team.
So far Boehly has been beaten to the punch by the more experienced operators at Barcelona for Raphina and Robert Lewandowski. He has failed to tempt Nathan Ake away from Manchester City and he is struggling to see off Barca for Sevilla defender Jules Kounde.
Saturday night’s fever is the result. Chelsea looked a half-baked, work in progress whose belief in their own publicity left them dismantled by an Arsenal team coached, primed and ready for the new season.
And that’s the players who actually want to be there. Captain Cesar Azpilicueta and left-back Marcos Alonso both want to join Barcelona, winger Hakim Ziyech wants to go to AC Milan, while Timo Werner and Christian Pulisic both want more regular game time.
Chelsea need to move faster to sort out their outgoings. It is not turning out to be as easy as Boehly may have thought. To his credit, Tuchel refused to cling to excuses around the heat, the humidity and the travel. He was right not to. This is about investment.
Where is Chelsea’s Gabriel Jesus? Liverpool have Diogo Jota, Mohamed Salah and new signing Darwin Nunez. City have Erling Haaland and Julian Alvarez. Riyad Mahrez hit 24 in all competitions for them last season. Spurs have Son Heung Min and Harry Kane, both of whom have been red hot in pre-season.
Chelsea could have played all night on Saturday and not scored. Tuchel admitted his concern. “We will hopefully see development,” he said. "But at the moment, we have the same issues because we have the same players."
With Lewandowski gone and previous few striker alternatives out there, don't be surprised if Ronaldo's name resurfaces, as Boehly would prefer. Either that or keep hold of rookie Armando Broja because Michy Batshuayi is still not good enough for the Premier League, let alone Chelsea.
And in a top-four race of fine margins, you wouldn’t even back this Chelsea to beat struggling Everton on the opening weekend. For all those convinced that these are pre-season results that don’t matter, listen some more to Tuchel.
“I don’t know if I ever lost a match in preseason 4-0,” he added. “I cannot remember not winning two matches in a row in a preseason.
“I am a huge fan of a strong preseason for everything: the atmosphere, the feeling, the performance, the belief. I absolutely do not believe that I say a bad preseason means a good season. That makes no sense to me.
“It’s not a moment to destroy my group - this is an honest analysis of the game.”
