When Hayley Gittoes' son Baylin Hoskin took his own life six years ago, she was overwhelmed with immeasurable grief.
Her 18-year-old son suicided two years after coming out as bisexual, while living in the country town of Kempsey on the New South Wales Mid North Coast.
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander readers are advised this article contains images and the name of someone who has died.
WARNING: This story contains references to suicide.
Ms Gittoes said her eldest son Baylin, who was a twin and a Dunghutti man, was a smart and driven child who loved learning and had a beautiful nature.
"He was always the kid who just figured things out himself … the kid, you know, I never had to worry about," she said.
However, when he entered his teenage years, Ms Gittoes said she noticed Baylin's behaviour started to change.
"He was actually diagnosed originally with severe major depressive disorder and severe anxiety around age 16," Ms Gittoes said.
The diagnosis was made around the same time as Baylin came out as bisexual.
"I remember exactly … he came to me and he said, 'Mum, I need to tell you something, I think I'm bisexual'," Ms Gittoes said.
"He goes, 'But it's OK Mum, because I'll still have kids', like that was something I cared about, like he needed to reassure me that he was still going to follow the 'normal' or expected life."
Queer in regional NSW
Ms Gittoes said Baylin struggled with his gender identity, he lost a lot of his male friends after opening up about his sexuality, and being in a regional country town didn't make things easier.
"There was a period … of about six months where he physically didn't speak to us at all," she said.
"He would come home from school, walk into the house go into his bedroom and he wouldn't come out to eat.
"He was in such a bad place and struggling so much, it was really hard to watch."
After he finished school, Baylin left Kempsey to study at university in Newcastle.
But his mental health didn't improve with the change of scene.
As he struggled with the stress of securing financial support from Centrelink and the pressure of university assignments, he increased in his alcohol consumption.
In Newcastle, he took his own life.
"He'd written all of us letters … and in my letter, particularly, he said coming to terms with who he was, was one of the reasons why he ended up where he did," Ms Gittoes said.
"We loved him — it didn't make a difference to us at all — but it is such a hard thing for young people to accept themselves when society sometimes tells them that they don't belong here or are not normal."
Baylin's Gift
Shortly after his death, Ms Gittoes started 'Baylin's Gift' — a charity organisation committed to educating young people and their support networks about depression, anxiety, gender identification and suicide awareness.
"I just knew that we were starting it because Baylin was LGBTQI+, he had severe mental health issues and both of those things were not talked about in the community, they both had the biggest stigmas attached to them," she said.
Ms Gittoes said Pride events that were normally held in metropolitan areas comforted Baylin, so she wanted to bring an event to regional New South Wales.
Through Baylin's Gift, she started a community event called 'It's OK on the Macleay' to celebrate LGBTQI+ diversity in her town.
"I think young people finding their tribe, their people, their community can make 100 per cent difference," she said.
"That is exactly the whole purpose of this event."
The annual event has grown in popularity over the years, and recently drew a crowd of more than 500 people.
"There were so many young people there. They were coming up to me and giving me a hug and saying, 'You've got no idea what this means', which for me … that's the whole purpose," Ms Gittoes said.
"The atmosphere … it's just so accepting and there's no judgement on anyone's part. We're all there for the same reason and it's a beautiful thing to be a part of."
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