Model Cara Delevingne says she grew up 'hating herself' as she struggled with suicidal thoughts sparked by her sexuality.
The British star, 29, who came out as bisexual and later pansexual, says she felt a lack of relatable role LGBTQ+ role models at that time made it harder for her to identify herself - something she is now looking to readdress to her global following of fans.
In the tell-all interview with Harper’s Bazaar UK she said: "I do think I would have hated myself less, I would have not been so ashamed, if I’d had someone.
"The one thing I’m happy about growing up queer and fighting it and hiding it is, it gives me so much fire and drive to try to make people’s lives easier in some way by talking about it."
Cara's phenomenal success first as a young model and later landing a high profile acting role in hit movie Suicide Squad came after she battled her own deeply troubled view of herself as a 'deadbeat' for dropping out of school.
She explained: "I dropped out, and I really just wanted to be able to prove that I wasn’t the deadbeat I thought I was. When you have mental-health struggles, you can’t see anything, it blinds you.''
Since becoming a global star Delevingne has had to cope with the pressures that puts on her privacy - something she admits has at times been tough - especially when dating.
She added: ''When you have a relationship, there’s definitely an element of it being exposed, especially with coming out and being in public relationships, like when I was with Annie. But now I really value my privacy so much, so no one can put their ideas and comments on it."
But the star says she has been fortunate to forge friendship within the industry to help her with the many challenges she's had to face - including getting to grips with modelling which she initially brushed off as being easy.
She explained: ''I gave modelling a lot of flak for being something that wasn’t hard, but are you kidding me? I hated wearing heels, and I couldn’t walk in them. It took me a long time to learn how to model."
And after turning her hand to acting and lately singing she's struck back at the media refusing to professionally label herself to one discipline.
"It doesn’t make sense to have to be one thing. People ask me, “How was it transitioning from being a model to an actress?” I’m not transitioning anywhere; I’m never going to stop modelling."
She also realises that the Covid enforced lockdown made her slow down and gain 'perspective' as admits she sees children in her future.
She shared: "I want to have babies. But not yet.
"I buy children’s clothes for my future child who doesn’t exist.
''Baby shoes really get me – they break my heart. I went shopping the other day and I bought these tiny Air Jordans, which are purple and they have a lion on them.
“I’m manifesting…,'' she added.
The March issue of Harper’s Bazaar UK is on sale from February 2.
