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The Independent UK
The Independent UK
Lifestyle
Lydia Spencer-Elliott

Cara Delevingne says her parents’ generation believed they’d ‘done something wrong’ if they had a gay child

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Louise Thomas

Louise Thomas

Editor

Cara Delevingne has revealed she inherited internalised phobia from the generations before her.

The model, 31, has previously labelled herself pansexual and bisexual but subsequently said her sexuality is constantly in flux and the way she uses labels often changes.

Delevingne made the BBC television series Planet Sex with Cara Delevingne in 2022 in an attempt to open up conversations around sexuality for herself as well as viewers.

Speaking to The Times, Delevingne admitted her internalised phobia had taken a “long time” to understand “because it’s built into you”.

The Kids in Love star said her parents had never reassured her it was OK with them for her to love whoever she wanted. She added it had been ingrained into her that women were always assumed to be straight.

“It’s a generational thing. I don’t think it was their fault at all,” Delevingne said of her phobia. “It’s just how it was. I think a lot of parents thought, ‘Oh, if I have a gay child I have done something wrong.’”

Delevingne has previously dated women in the entertainment industry including musician St Vincent and actor Ashley Benson.

Cara Delevingne has revealed she inherited internalised phobia from the generations before her
Cara Delevingne has revealed she inherited internalised phobia from the generations before her (Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images)

Speaking during a Pride edition of podcast Make It Reign with Josh Smith back in 2021, she explained: “The way I define myself still changes all the time, whether it’s pansexual, bisexual – I don’t really know.

Pansexual and bisexual are different, as pansexual does not recognise gender as part of someone’s attraction to another person.

The model continued: “It’s like a pendulum swinging, but almost now I feel far more comfortable being bisexual than I used to.

“I’ve kind of felt because I was lacking in my desire for women or love for women that I kind of just went one way and now it changes a lot more. I feel a lot more free and being more comfortable in it because before I was like, ‘oh, I’m gay’. That comes with self-shaming.”

Cara Delevingne poses for photographers upon arrival at the Vogue World in Paris
Cara Delevingne poses for photographers upon arrival at the Vogue World in Paris (AP)

Delevingne described being so much harsher on herself than anyone else. She said: “I will talk to myself so much worse than I would ever speak to any other human being in the entire world.

“No matter what, even someone who’s hurt me more than anyone, I will be so much nicer than that.”

The model said that Pride Month, which takes place in June each year, is about “choosing love”.

Delevigne said: “That’s what I think Pride needs to be about. It’s just love, love for your partner, love for your neighbour, love for yourself more importantly, and loving people you don’t know either.

“Like, it just doesn’t have to be something you talk about where it’s just about a relationship. It can just be about a stranger, you know, having empathy and compassion for all people.”

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