Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.
Seltzers aren’t the only things cutting into beer’s market share. Over time, the quality of premade cocktails has risen dramatically to bring another slim-fit can to shelves and chip away at light beer’s popularity.
Melograno isn’t a traditional cocktail thanks to its agave wine base, but it’s elbowing its way into that demographic with upscale offerings like Pomegranate Cosmopolitan and Orange Blossom Martini. The pitch is simple; these aren’t your typical High Noon vodka seltzers or your VMC tequila drinks. They’re low-calorie cocktails with a moderate ABV (five percent) aimed toward a crowd with a more discerning eye.
I mean, that’s pretty obvious from the labels themselves. These cans are gorgeous. They come in a sea of rich, glossy patterns like the wallpaper in the great room of a house you can’t afford. But I’m wary of a “blue agave wine specialty.” These typically come up short despite the promise of big flavor on limited calories.
Can they possibly be as good as they look?
Orange Blossom Martini: B+
The taste leans into that agave background, imparting a little cactus before ultimately ending sweet. Despite a bubble-free pour, the slim can made me expect carbonation. Nope, it’s just smooth water and light orange with some lingering citrus acidity. I kinda wish there was some crisp carbonation to snap off each sip, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing — just different.
It’s entirely pleasant and unique. I can honestly say I’ve never had a canned cocktail like it. It fulfills the promise of orange blossom on the can and delivers an easy-drinking casual drink. It’s nice.
Cucumber Lime Mojito: C
Again, I must point out the can. Look at that thing. It’s gorgeous. It’s what I’d expect the urn of my richest dead friend to look like.
The drink itself pours bubble-free with equal hints of cucumber, lime and cactus sugar off the top. But the confluence of those flavors creates a cocktail that’s … too clean. It’s weirdly reminiscent of toothpaste for me, as the lime isn’t able to erase the lasting power of the mint underneath.
This doesn’t render it undrinkable, just not as pleasant as I’d like. I’m not sold on mojitos in the first place, so that probably doesn’t help. There’s a fair amount of flavor involved, so your mileage may vary. But the cucumber and lime play minor roles compared to the mint, and that’s my concern.
Melon Margarita: B
The smell upon cracking the can is a little melon and some light agave — not overpowering but noticeable. You’re not going to mistake the origin of the booze here. But with a margarita it should be a feature, not a bug.
And that holds mostly true. The issue is more that there’s little noticeable flavor beyond that sweet agave. The melon — maybe honeydew? — is a minor player here. It’s sweet and very easy to drink, but doesn’t really taste like much. Sipping straight from the can focuses that fruit flavor a little more, but it’s still not as potent as, say, a High Noon.
That’s not really a problem; it’s a 120 calorie seltzer and it’s entirely agreeable. There’s a little fruit, a little sugar and, bam, you’re all done. That makes it a crushable summer option, if not a memorable one.
Pomegranate Cosmopolitan: B+
This pours without any carbonation and, unlike the others, smells way more like the fruit inside than the agave wine that gives it a boozy kick. It comes through a little upon first sip, but mostly it’s sweet fruit without any real hint of alcohol.
Unlike the Melon Margarita, you know exactly that this is. While the finish is clean and a little watery, that pomegranate is front and center. There’s a slight amount of tartness, but it’s sweet and, like the rest of the Melograno flavors, very easy to drink.
I think I’d maybe like a little carbonation with this, but that’s a minor complaint. This isn’t a cocktail I’d normally drink, but hand me a can of this and I’m totally fine for a while.
Pina Colada: A
Again, no carbonation. That’s what you’d expect from pina colada, but the margarita had bubbles, so it’s worth noting. Hooo buddy, there’s a whole lot of coconut coming off this pour and, hell yeah, that’s great.
The taste itself is perhaps the most full bodied of the group — if not pina colada, then the award goes to the pomegranate cosmo. Again, there’s not much here to suggest there’s any alcohol involved. Instead you get a sweet beverage with a clean, almost watery finish that makes it easy to keep coming back for more.
We’re finishing a lot stronger than we started. I was concerned Melograno was a pretty can and nothing else. But there’s a lot of care put into these cocktails, which take full advantage of their 120 calories and bring full flavor amidst a landscape filled with forgettable brands. If you like any of the cocktails represented in Melograno’s lineup, you’re probably gonna like Melograno.
Would I drink it instead of a Hamm's?
The Pina Colada for sure. Probably the Pomegranate Cosmopolitan. The rest were a little light on flavor for me, but I could stand to shed a little weight after gorging myself throughout December. Sure, I’m in.
