You know what the world really needs? More luxury marmalade options. Luckily, the Duchess of Sussex has it covered. As you may have heard, Meghan is launching a new lifestyle brand called American Riviera Orchard (ARO). Details are still hush-hush, but the trademark applications cover everything from pet-related accessories and homeware to marmalade and jam. She is going to sell fancy things to aspirationally fancy people.
It was always likely that Meghan would move in this direction. She did, after all, run a lifestyle website called the Tig (described as “a hub for the discerning palate”), which closed in 2017. Launching an aspirational brand is also the sort of thing every celebrity does these days. Reigning over the celebrity entrepreneur space, of course, is Gwyneth Paltrow. Her brand, Goop, is worth $250m (£198m) despite (or possibly thanks to) the fact that it’s a constant source of ridicule. Meghan is never going to be the next British queen, but maybe she thinks she has a shot at being the next Paltrow.
So, will people buy what Meghan is selling? I’m not convinced. There is the name of the company, for one thing, which is … a mouthful. Having worked on some brand-naming projects myself, I imagine what happened was this: Meghan wanted the name American Riviera (apparently a nickname for the Santa Barbara area), but it was already trademarked. She didn’t want to consider other options, so her team tacked on Orchard at the end. Although it has been ridiculed online, apparently Meghan is thrilled. “Meghan finds the name American Riviera Orchard perfect,” a source told People. “It feels authentic to her.”
To be fair, it doesn’t really matter what you name a company; someone will always have something snarky to say. “Why is it called Goop?” one Canadian writer sniffed when Paltrow launched her newsletter in 2009. “Perhaps ‘Any Old Load of Rubbish’ and ‘Learn From Me, Ungrateful Peasant’ were both taken.” Actually, as this ungrateful peasant has discovered, it was called Goop because the name contained Paltrow’s initials and a branding expert jokingly told her that all successful internet companies have double o’s in their name. Perhaps Meghan should have gone with Moom, instead of American Riviera Orchard. Or at least something that isn’t 10 syllables long. Marks and Sparks?
Of course, names aren’t the be-all and end-all of success. The real issue with the brand is that Meghan doesn’t seem to have any idea what she wants to stand for, besides vague notions of empowerment and luxury. After the initial break with the royal family, Harry and Meghan were cheered on by many in the US for attempting to forge their own path. Since then, however, interest in the pair has begun to wane. South Park made fun of the Sussexes in an episode titled The Worldwide Privacy Tour; a Spotify executive called them “grifters” after their $20m partnership with the streaming platform ended; Rolling Stone decreed that they had entered their “flop era”.
The problem with Harry and Meghan is that they have made a big deal about how awful the monarchy is, but also made it clear that they want all the trappings of inherited privilege. They have refused to drop their titles, although a lot of Americans think they should. Even the ARO logo is a gold crest that looks suspiciously royal.
The truth is, people don’t want Meghan’s fruit preserves – they want palace intrigue. The duchess may have hoped to dabble in the latter to sell the former, but playing that hand at the moment – while King Charles and the Princess of Wales are dealing with cancer – would be bad form. Without gossip to fuel interest in her new venture, I suggest Meghan pull a Paltrow and ensure the products she sells are just a little bit out-there. I’m not sure Goop would have been quite so successful had it not been for headline-generating offerings such as vampire repellent and vagina candles. Paltrow has the vagina market covered, but considering Harry’s propensity for talking about his nether regions, Meghan could always launch cream for frostbitten todgers. Or hydrating face mists for creepy uncles who can’t sweat. Personally, I find the idea perfect. It feels authentic to me.
• Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist
• Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here
