Before attending Barry Ferguson’s maiden press conference as interim manager of Rangers, I received a Whatsapp message from a friend suggesting we play a drinking game where you take a shot every time someone mentions demands, standards or variations on the theme.
As I don't possess the iron constitution (nor the talent, before anyone else says it) of the hollow-legged journalistic heroes of my youth, I had to politely decline the offer. But there is a reason why these terms were poured so liberally over the exchange, both in the questions put forward by the attending press pack, and as Ferguson took the opportunity to set his stall out for his (initial) three-month reign.
“I expect them to win games of football,” Ferguson said.
“I expect them to give me everything they've got, because that's one thing I'll give them and my coaching staff as well.
“I had a brief meeting with them for five or ten minutes today and I got it across, and they fully understand my expectations of them.”
It may sound simplistic to reduce the conundrum of turning around Philippe Clement’s squad of underachievers to such terms, but as they say, sometimes the correct answer is the most obvious one.
“We have to try and be positive and make sure we win every single game,” he added.
“That's a big ask, I know that, but I'm positive. I need a bit of positivity about the place.
“My staff are like that, and the players understand that. I spoke to them today and they know the demands I put on them and that needs to start against Kilmarnock.
“You know the last time we went down to Kilmarnock, you know what happened there. This needs to be a different Rangers team that turns up.”
How Ferguson will produce a different Rangers team beyond a stirring opening address and one training session was for him to know and the rest of us to ponder, he said, but the proof will be in the pudding over the course of the 90 minutes tomorrow night in Ayrshire.
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And, indeed, over the remainder of a season that the Ibrox support couldn’t wait to come to an end a few days ago, but now eye with fresh intrigue at the very least, while even rival fans are captivated by a morbid curiosity over how this will all unfold. And hoping, let’s be honest, that it all unravels.
That must be a fear of many among the Rangers support who are nonetheless willing Ferguson and his coaching cohorts well, too. Of the team of former Ibrox greats he has assembled, there remains much affection for all of them for their achievements as Rangers players. Not least Ferguson, whose place in the hearts of the support and in Ibrox folklore are secure, no matter what.
But if you had to compare the coaching CVs of the four men who have been drafted in, arguably only Allan McGregor would have less claim to front up the operation than Ferguson, who in fairness, conceded as much himself. In fact, if his management resumé alone came across the desk of Patrick Stewart this summer, he might struggle – with respect - to get a second interview to become the next Broxi Bear.
Ferguson though asked to be judged as a Rangers manager at the end of the season, at which point, he clearly hopes to give the board – whoever they may be - something to think about, even if he rather unconvincingly insisted he hadn’t thought that far ahead.
The reason though that Ferguson has been chosen to be the figurehead of the fan-placating four is simple.
He was an inspirational captain of the club, a ‘ferocious competitor’, as Kilmarnock manager Derek McInnes put it earlier today. Someone steeped in its traditions and not only acutely aware of what the fans demand, but someone who consistently showed he had the talent and the will to consistently meet those expectations and deliver success.
The logic though, is simple. Whether it is flawed remains to be seen, but the Rangers job, particularly at this moment, is a unique one, and needs a different skillset to leading a part-time club looking to claw their way up the leagues.
The initial requirement would seem to be to lift a group of players – who technically, should at least be the second best in the country - who are underperforming. To remind them that they cannot accept defeat in the manner they seemed to all too willingly at the weekend, and frankly, administer one of those famous brown brogues to an erchie or two.
If they are properly motivated and at least loosely organised, then their talent, in theory, should take care of the rest 90 percent of the time.
“I was at both [the Queen’s Park and St Mirren] games,” he said.
“I could see it. It's clear that it's a group of players that are low in confidence, but my job today was trying to pick that up a bit. And I certainly got a response. My coaching staff certainly got a response.
“When I was driving in this morning at seven o'clock, that was my thought process. I need to get a kick out of these guys. They need to give me a reaction. And they certainly gave me a reaction this morning. I couldn't ask for any more of them.
“Now they'll go away, we'll meet up tomorrow and then we'll see where it takes us. But I'm confident I will get a rise out of them.
“[We need to show] a bit of energy, a bit of desire, stuff like that. I've explained that to the players. That's what I feel I've been watching over the last couple of weeks, certainly with the few results that we've just spoken about, the Queen's Park and the St Mirren game. Listen, winning breeds confidence.
“We've had a good chat with them. We've had a good training session with them. As I said, tomorrow night is going to be key. We've not missed a trick in terms of what we're coming up against. They know what I expect of them.”
For the rest of us, knowing what to expect of Rangers tomorrow night, and over the next few months, remains a near impossible task.
