December is synonymous with booze: mulled wine and carols, cocktails with friends. On Christmas morning, there’s buck’s fizz to herald a whole 24 hours – or not, depending on which point of the day you fall asleep on the sofa – of solid eating and drinking. Then you get up the next day and do it all again with whatever’s left in the fridge and the drinks cabinet, occasionally dragging yourself to visit nearby relatives, where you will probably once again be plied with booze. Ho, ho, ho, etc.
If the thought of this fills you with festive cheer, glug on. But if you’re dreading the tidal wave of yuletide drinking – or have already allowed yourself to be swept away and are now concerned about how you’ll carry on – allow me to let you in on a secret: you don’t need to do any of it. You don’t have to drink.
I know, I know: unthinkable. But there have always been people who don’t spend Christmas gently marinating in booze. They might be doing it for health or religious reasons. They could be sober-curious or in recovery. Like me, they might be intolerant of alcohol, which means that anything more than a quarter of a glass of beaujolais will turn them redder than a Santa suit, with a charming skin rash and pounding headache to match.
Or they could just not feel like it – a valid choice that is easy to forget in the run-up to Christmas, where familial obligations and must-keep-up-appearances logic reign supreme. “Everyone has their own reasons for choosing not to drink,” says Martin Preston, the founder and chief executive of the Cheshire-based Delamere addiction clinic. “Alcohol is so commonplace, especially at a time like Christmas – it’s important to remind yourself of why you’ve chosen to be sober.” If you’re planning on doing dry January anyway, cutting back in December might tee up a successful start to a sober 2024.
Preston and I aren’t the only ones who will be opting for a lime soda or a fizzy elderflower cordial this year. In 2022 more than half of 18- to 34-year-olds said they weren’t planning on drinking during the festive period, according to a survey by Ocado. It is entirely possible to have a fun and joyful Christmas without being half-cut – as long as you plan ahead. Here are some tips for spending the season alcohol-free.
Figure out a strategy
If you turn up for the festivities with only a vague plan of being sober, you’re much more likely to cave in the moment you’re offered your first gin fizz. “Know what you’re going to do before you go in,” advises sobriety coach Whitney Combs. “Make that commitment rather than just winging it.” Your strategy should include planning what you’ll drink instead. These days, there’s a profusion of sophisticated non-alcoholic aperitifs, kombuchas and seltzers to choose from – try Sentia spirits, Botivo or my personal favourite, Punchy’s blood orange, bitters and cardamom fizz.
For something extra Christmassy, Combs enjoys making a non-alcoholic version of a traditional wassail drink, which is usually mulled fruit juice with spices and liquor or wine – she just omits the booze and uses cranberry juice instead. “You throw in orange slices and cinnamon sticks and cook it on the stove – it smells absolutely delicious,” she says.
Be honest about not drinking
I used to be quite awkward about not drinking, especially over Christmas, which meant a lot of subterfuge and a lot of glasses of prosecco tipped down the sink and covertly filled up with lemonade. (This doesn’t fool anybody, FYI, and is wasteful.) Instead, Combs and Preston advocate being straightforward about the fact that you’re abstaining.
“Make it clear to whoever you’re going to be sharing Christmas with that you won’t be drinking,” Preston says. That can be as easy as sending a text saying that you’re excited to spend the holidays with them, while also letting them know that you’re not planning to drink and asking what soft drinks you can bring for yourself and everyone else. Classy and generous!
If someone keeps offering to top up your glass, it helps to have a pre-rehearsed answer to hand. “If you don’t want to be asked again, rather than, ‘Oh no, not right now,’ be very clear: ‘I’m not drinking today,’” Combs says.
But don’t be afraid to lie, either
Can’t be bothered to explain to a distant family member or acquaintance why you aren’t joining their yuletide trip to oblivion? You don’t have to do it. “If I was put on the spot or somebody was especially persistent, I would probably just make up an excuse: I’d say, ‘Look, I’m driving, I’m on antibiotics’ or whatever,” Preston says.
Combs has a simple solution: just keep hold of a half-full glass. “Hanging on to something can be really helpful,” she says. “If I have something in my hand, nobody’s going to ask me if I want a drink.”
Accept that it might not feel the same
Remember the point isn’t to recreate the feeling of being drunk; it’s about experiencing Christmas from a new perspective and being fully compos mentis in the moment. “Maybe you’re not dancing half-naked on the table, but you’re having meaningful connections,” Combs says. “Fun for me is connecting with people.” It helps to visualise two scenarios: one where you drink and one where you don’t. “Playing the tape forward can be helpful,” she explains. “If you’ve ever been at a family gathering where tensions are running high and alcohol is flowing, shit explodes. People explode, feelings get hurt. And you’re not going to be part of that. You will not be part of that drama.”
Remind yourself that none of the fuzzy, feelgood emotions associated with Christmas – that lovely sense of warmth and connection – actually need booze to happen. “For me, it is about family and everyone getting together and sharing a lovely meal,” Preston says. It’s totally possible to enjoy those feelings without alcohol. Plus, if you’re prone to that “what did I do” anxiety from being hungover, think how good it’s going to be tomorrow without that feeling.
Reward yourself throughout the day – and after
If tempers are running high , it’s easy to reach for a glass of wine. Instead, deal with the underlying causes of why you feel you need to drink. “Punctuate the day with bits and bobs of self-care,” Preston says. That can involve a quick, 20-minute walk around the neighbourhood to clear your head, checking in with friends who are also doing a dry Christmas, or just – speaking personally – excusing yourself to go to the loo for some time alone.
If you’ve survived your first Christmas without a boozy comfort blanket, then you deserve to treat yourself. “Little rewards can be amazing,” Combs says. “It could be a mani-pedi or a massage or something like that, but it could also just be having your favourite clean pyjamas folded up on your bed and a piece of dark chocolate and a movie queued up on Netflix, ready to go.” Alternatively, you can enjoy falling asleep with a clear head, smug in the knowledge that you will be able to enjoy the period between Boxing Day and 2 January without a hangover.
