“During the transfer window we saw Manchester United launch the Alexis Sánchez piano video, but does anyone beat Bradford City’s chief operating officer James Mason waiting at a bus stop? What is the oddest location for the announcement of a new signing?” asks James Mackenzie.
It used to be that players would sign on the pitch before the game, armed with only a pen and a perm. In a post-Jim White world, such low-key cheese just won’t cut it, and new signings are unveiled in a series of weird and wonderful ways.
But before we get to the present day, John Briggs has an interesting example from days gone by. “Ian Lawther signed for Brentford from Scunthorpe in the House of Commons,” notes John. “The Brentford chairman Jack Dunnett was an MP so both clubs and the player completed the formalities in the House of Commons.”
And so to McDonald’s, where Matt Paterson officially signed for Oxford City in 2017. Thanks to Tom Wills for pointing out that one. Sean DeLoughry has some cracking tales from Ireland. “The presentation of the pre-season signings by League of Ireland side Finn Harps has become something of a running joke,” he writes. “It’s hard to tell whether it’s deliberate, but announcements tend to be accompanied by photos seemingly taken with a first generation camera phone, usually in a pub.
“The re-signing of star player Paddy McCourt looks like a screengrab from a ransom-demand video. Likewise Ciaran Coll and Shane Blaney. The signing of former Wolves starlet Jesse Devers seems to have been captured by somebody who happened to jog past the pair but didn’t have time to stop. The signing of Ireland international John O’Flynn appears to have been recorded for posterity on a Nokia 3310. Meanwhile Ciaran O’Connor seems to have been kidnapped under cover of darkness. And clearly Harps got Mark Timlin and Darren McFadden drunk before getting them to sign on the dotted line.”
Finally, Chai from Atlanta points out that Yeovil used popular promiscuity-facilitating app Tinder to announce the signing of Oscar Gobern in December.
Can you top that? If so, you know what to do.
British players in obscure leagues
Obscurest league for a British player to end up playing in?
— Kenn Drumm (@14Autumns) January 23, 2018
I know there’s a couple of lads who play in the Icelandic 2nd Division for teams outside of Reykjavik. But has anyone gone really obscure?
Danny Guthrie, the former Newcastle midfielder, can see Iceland’s division two and raise it. “When reading about Guthrie recently (I don’t remember why), I noticed he was currently with Indonesian Liga 1 team Mitra Kukar,” writes Gavin Reed. “I’m not sure it’s really fair to say that one of the world’s most populated countries is obscure, but as far as I can work out he’s the only Brit playing there since Carlton Cole was sacked.”
Brendan Donnelly cites Sean Latimer, who is currently banging in the goals for Tupapa Maraerenga FC in the Cook Islands. And who could forget Jorrin John?
Jorrin John, former Leicester youth player, recently signed for Phnom Penh Crown in the Cambodian top division. Although he was born in Leicester and played for England at youth level, he's now an Antigua and Barbuda international
— Sam Waller (@TSamWaller) January 24, 2018
The question referred to British players, but we’re going to allow Dickson Etuhu on the grounds that he grew up in Peckham and played for a load of Premier League clubs. Eight years ago he started a Europa League final against an Atlético Madrid team that included David de Gea and Sergio Agüero; now he’s playing for IFK Rössjöholm in Sweden’s division five.
That one came from Richard Baum, who has other nuggets to share. “Teddy Sheringham’s son Charlie is currently playing in Bangladesh for their Premier League team Saif,” he writes. “This is a link to all the English players playing or coaching professionally abroad, including in such footballing Meccas as the Cook Islands, the Philippines and Vanuatu.”
Can anyone out-obscure that? If so, you know where to email.
Scoring yet more against siblings
“Further to the report last week on Bob Latchford’s double for Everton against his older brother Dave at Birmingham, I can relate that he scored six in seven against his former team-mate,” writes Daniel Miller.
“He started with the two you mentioned in a 4-1 home win, missed out in a 4-1 home win and netted two in a 3-0 away win (for whom former Everton defender Archie Styles, who moved with Howard Kendall in the deal that brought Bob to Goodison) netted an own goal. He then missed out in a 1-0 away win and scored one in a 5-2 home win – making it five wins on the bounce. He then failed in a 2-2 home draw before the final meeting, perhaps the most dramatic, a 1-1 draw at St Andrews. Kendall netted against his former team, Latchford scored for Everton before earning himself a red card late on.”
Knowledge archive
“Who was the last player to score for England sporting a proper moustache?”asked Derek Corney in August 2008. “I think it was Viv Anderson, but a friend of mine is convinced it was Kenny Sansom.”
Well, if there’s money riding on it Derek, you’re the one in profit. Sansom’s only goal for England came against Finland in October 1984 in a qualifying match for the 1986 World Cup, while Anderson scored his second and last England goal against Yugoslavia on 12 November 1986. The two are in fact split by another moustachioed scorer, Danny Wallace, who netted in January 1986. More recently David Beckham, Darius Vassell and Ledley King have hit the target for England while sporting facial furniture, but theirs are more beard-’tache combos, and certainly not what you’d call “a proper moustache”.
Can you help?
“On Saturday Carlisle United were on the end of what must surely be one of the most remarkable comebacks in history,” begins Mike Kilner. “Leading 3-2 at 10-man Wycombe and into the third of five minutes’ added time, the visitors conceded twice before the end in an astonishing 4-3 defeat. On the match video there were only 187 seconds between both goals – of which 68 were taken up by celebrations for the equaliser. What are the greatest nine-man (or fewer) comebacks against superior numbers?”
“Olivier Giroud was seen on the bench for two different teams on one edition of Match of the Day. Has this happened before?” asks Simon Smith.
@TheKnowledge_GU Scott Bain signed for Hibs on loan on the first day of the window and left for Celtic on the last day. Have any other players ever joined and left a club in the same window?
— Brian Milne (@BrianMilne80) February 1, 2018
“Last month’s AFC Under-23 Championship final between Uzbekistan and Vietnam in the Chinese city of Changzhou was played in a blizzard in sub-zero temperatures, with the pitch under a blanket of snow in the first half and two inches of the stuff visible on top of the crossbars. What other finals have been played in similarly extreme weather conditions, be they hot, cold, dry, wet or windy?” muses Oliver Farry.
“Has any team ever started the penultimate game of the season outside the promotion spots, lost the last game, but ended up moving up the table to clinch promotion?” wonders Lee from Rossendale.
- Send questions and answers to knowledge@theguardian.com or tweet @TheKnowledge_GU
