Luke Brooks admits he never realised how much being a punching bag at Wests Tigers ate away at him before his move to Manly this year.
Brooks will end a 4040-day wait to play in an NRL finals match on Sunday, when he runs out for the Sea Eagles against Canterbury at Accor Stadium.
It will mark the end of the longest wait for a maiden finals appearance in NRL history, with 29-year-old Brooks having played 229 games since his debut in August 2013.
The Dally M halfback of the year in 2018, Brooks' decision to knock back a Tigers contract last year and move to Manly was born out of a desire for a fresh start.
He has thrived on the field with less responsibility and more freedom to run, playing his best football of 2024 in recent months.
But the Manly No.6 says he never realised how much of a toll being one of the most scrutinised players in the NRL at the Tigers took on him before arriving at Manly.
"I feel heaps different. I probably didn't notice it when I was there, how much it really weighed on me," Brooks said.
"It wasn't until I was out of that situation that I realised how much pressure I had on me.
"Coming over here, it feels like a weight off my shoulders.
"I can concentrate on playing footy and I guess that's showed. When I was there I probably didn't notice it as much. It wasn't until I got out of there."
Brooks admitted the pressure on him at the Tigers had at times stopped him from enjoying his football.
"It's hard because as a footy player when you win you're up, and when you lose you're down," Brooks said.
"It's not the best way to be, but you try to find that balance outside of footy to help that. When you're constantly losing it's hard, it becomes not enjoyable.
"Last year was a bit better but a few years before that it wasn't really enjoyable for me.
"It's hard to get out of that rut. For me, it was a change of scenery that helped."
Brooks' finals debut looms as one of the most popular at Manly this week, with several teammates raising it in media interviews.
But he is confident he's well prepared, entering the finals as the second-most experienced playmaker behind teammate Daly Cherry-Evans.
Brooks is also adamant he has enough big-game experience and has learnt his lessons after letting the nerves show on his return to Leichhardt last month.
"Over the 10 years you learn a lot in what to do in certain situations," Brooks said.
"I've just got to stick to what's been working for me, don't over-complicate it.
"It's easy when you're winning and everything's good, but when it's not going so well you learn a lot about yourself.
"Having the mental toughness to be able to put up with all that stuff and be able to get through to the other side is rewarding."
