For Brooke Kinsella, Thursday will be a day of mixed emotions: sadness for the loss of her brother Ben, who was knifed to death 15 years ago, but also joy at the birthday of her son who shares his name.
There will be understandable anger, too, over the needless deaths of others like Ben, stabbed to death on Britain’s streets.
Former EastEnders actress Brooke has been campaigning against knife crime since her 16-year-old brother was murdered by three men on June 29, 2008.
Yet meeting fellow families whose lives have been torn apart by senseless stabbings leaves her fearing she has failed.
She also worries for her children’s future, if the Government fails to get a grip on the rising number of knife attacks.
Mum-of-two Brooke, 39, says: “You’re in this club that no one wants to be in and no one will ever understand. You know exactly what that family is going through – every second of what they are feeling.
“I feel like it’s been 15 years of pain and nothing has changed. But I will never give up and I will never stop fighting.”
Ben was out celebrating the end of his GCSEs with pals when he became the 17th of 29 teens to be killed in London that year – and the 13th fatal victim of knife crime.
The teenager was stabbed 11 times in a brutal five-second attack as he walked home from a pub in Islington, Central London, following an earlier altercation that he had not been part of.
The following year, Juress Kika, 19, Jade Braithwaite, 18, and Michael Alleyne, 20, were each sentenced to life for Ben’s murder, with a minimum of 19 years. Old Bailey judge Brian Barker branded the attack “cowardly and totally unjustified”.
Brooke, who founded The Ben Kinsella Trust in her brother’s name to tackle knife crime through education and campaigning, says: “My mum and dad have never slept properly again since my brother was murdered.
“They put on brave faces but the light went out from their eyes the day he died.”
Now a talent agent, Brooke says she will never forget the night her sister Jade rang her at 2am, screaming that Ben had been stabbed.
She recalls: “I remember being in a cab to the hospital and having to call my mum and dad, which was the worst thing I have ever had to do… to wake them and tell them what happened. I remember my mum screaming.”
Brooke, her mum Debbie, 61, dad George, 64, and sisters Jade, 37, and Georgia, 29, will never be able to forget the horror of seeing Ben as he lay in hospital.
She says: “We went to see him and bundled on top of him. I remember thinking he was so cold and wanting to warm him up.
“We were kissing him and holding him, but he was gone. It is indescribable, the pain, and it never goes away. If the men who did this could feel our pain for 10 seconds… it shatters you. They did not kill one person that night, they destroyed the lives of five people – and their own.”
Brooke will mark the 15th anniversary of Ben’s death privately on Thursday with her family. She will also celebrate the first birthday of her son Ben the same day, on what is set to be a “roller coaster of conflicting emotions”. The star, who also has daughter Elsie, two, with her solicitor husband Simon Boardley, 45, says: “This year feels so poignant being 15 years since we lost Ben and baby Ben’s first year all at the same time.
“Like I always do, I will wake up early and count the clock down to the moment Ben passed away and be sad and then, like my parents did, I will put on a brave face for my kids and make sure my Ben has his day as well.
“We will do the cake and balloons, but I think this year will be kept as big Ben’s day, and we will celebrate little Ben’s birthday a few days later, with a picnic in the park.”
Brooke cherishes her fond memories of her “practical joker” little brother. She recalls: “He did a school play where he dressed up as Baby Spice. He was great… he had better legs than me! I remember when he had a little girlfriend and he asked to borrow some money to buy her presents for Valentine’s Day.
“He bought her a snowglobe with a picture of them, some perfume and a little bracelet. Then he ran around the house and threw in a dog bone, Action Men and a pineapple so when she opened it, it was all nonsense. He would have been the best uncle because he was so much fun and loved babies and children. It makes me so sad knowing what my nephews and children have lost.”
As well as keeping personal mementoes such as one of Ben’s shirts and his tooth-brush, Brooke wore a locket containing his hair when her children were born – and on her big day. Her mum also sewed his picture into her wedding bouquet.
When she discovered her second baby was going to be a boy, Brooke knew he would have to be called Ben. But she panicked when, two weeks before her due date, doctors advised to have a C-section on June 29.
“My instant reaction was, ‘No, I can’t’,” she recalls. “But I called my mum and she said, ‘This is absolutely our Ben doing this. It is a sign’.” Brooke says that giving birth that day was strange and surreal, and she felt conflicted over whether it was the right thing to do. But she adds: “Once Ben was born, I thought, ‘Here you are! It was meant to be this way’.”
Brooke says she can see her brother in her young son. “Ben has mine and Ben’s eyes and such a similar personality,” she says. “It’s lovely to say he’s really like our Ben… you feel like you’ve got a little piece of him.”
Having a son has also given Brooke an insight into her parents’ grief. She says: “Ben is only one. I think, ‘They only had 15 more years with our Ben’. It’s the constant countdown.”
The next big milestone for Brooke and her family will come when Ben’s killers are released, which she fears will “open up a whole level of nightmare”.
Brooke, who has collaborated with a number of politicians and was made an MBE for her work against knife crime, has been frustrated by the lack of progress so far.
Between 2012 and 2022, knife crime soared by 46%. Some 49,265 offences involving a knife or sharp instrument were reported last year, according to the Office for National Statistics.
There were 282 murders involving a knife or sharp instrument in England and Wales in the 12 months to March 2022 – the highest number since 1946. Of the victims, 99 were aged under 25 and 13 were under 16.
Recently, Brooke met Stuart and Amanda Stephens, the parents of Olly Stephens, 13, who was fatally stabbed in Reading in 2021 over a dispute on social media.
Two boys aged 14 were found guilty of his murder, and a girl, 14, admitted manslaughter.
Brooke says: “Seeing people like them breaks us all over again. You think, ‘What have we been fighting for?’
Now she is calling for a cross-party commitment to open more youth clubs to give teenagers somewhere safe to go at night.
She also wants to see knife crime laws fast-tracked with emergency measures so the banning of machetes, for example, could be implemented within months, not years.
Brooke says: “New governments come in, the focus changes and the funding changes. We need a commitment that is long-term and ring-fenced for the next generation.”
Throughout 2023, The Ben Kinsella Trust has been running the ‘It’s Been 15’ campaign and will host a fundraising gala in October on what would have been Ben’s 32nd birthday.
His big sister is determined to keep fighting knife crime in his memory.
Brooke says: “I need a tiny bit of hope that maybe, by the time my Ben gets to his age, we will be in a better place.”
* Visit Brooke’s charity at benkinsella.org.uk
‘Tougher deterrent is needed’
Dire new figures show the Tories have failed to tackle knife crime, leaving Brooke dismayed.
Government stats show a steady fall in the number of jail terms handed out to criminals convicted for their second blade offence.
It comes despite a law saying they should get at least six months behind bars – and it also makes a mockery of the last Conservative election manifesto, which promised: “Those who use a knife as a weapon should go to prison.”
Ministry of Justice figures show a record number of second-time knife criminals avoiding jail with community service, a fine or a suspended term.
In the past five years, the percentage of these second-time knife criminals getting the recommended six-month sentence has fallen from 47% to 44%.
The number avoiding a jail sentence completely has risen from 38% to 45%.
Brooke said: “It makes me really sad to hear that, and it is something that I hope will change.
“We need deterrents, especially if you are going to keep doing something because people have to be fearful of the consequences.
“There has been a big movement that repeat offenders face harsh consequences – and if that is not happening, I feel desperately sad for all the victims.”
But she cautioned: “I do worry that if it’s a 15-year-old boy who has carried a knife in self-defence and you lock him up… in that environment, without any rehabilitation, I worry that he would come out and do it again anyway.”
A Government spokesman said: “While sentencing is for independent judges, these figures pre-date our tough new laws which will see more repeat knife offenders face time behind bars.”
