Britney Spears has confirmed it hasn't been easy not seeing her teenage sons after ex Kevin Federline made the news public at the weekend.
The pop princess, 40, took to Instagram to slam her ex for not keeping their business private and admitted she "wants to scream" as it hurt seeing her kids ignore her on visits. Brit uploaded a lengthy rant in response to Kevin's interview which he revealed their kids - Sean, 16, and Jayden, 15 - chose to stay away from their mum.
Britney confessed the teens acted "hateful" towards her in a number of visits and chose to lock themselves in their room instead of spend time as a family. But she slammed K-Fed's attempts to play happy families and instead claimed his home "has more weed than Ludacris, 50 Cent, Jay Z and Puff Daddy combined".
The Toxic singer admitted she may have tried too hard to make her kids love her on their visits to see her, but hit back at K-Fed's wife by saying: "I have love in my home and I have blessings from the people I allow in and out of my home."
Britney went on to say teens are hard to deal with but she was desperate to see the children more often. However, she was left frustrated at her attempts to do so, writing: "I looked forward to seeing my kids every week... It was 2 days a week but I asked him to ask to stay for more days.... maybe 3... but then the next week they stayed for only one day."
But she admitted she was afraid to speak up about the visits, saying: "It hurts and I want to scream!!! I can't process how I dedicated 20 years of my life to those kids... everything was about them!!! For them to knock the breath out of me."
Later on she added she doesn't know what's going on in her kids' heads at the minute. She continued: "The teenage age is weird, I don't know what's going on in their heads!!!" She revealed they would read prayers together before she said: "I always TRIED and TRIED, and maybe that's why they stopped coming here!!!
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"I wanted them to love me so much that I might have overdone int!!! This summer, they told me "we may come here less" and I was like that's fine. I called they dad and I told him that it seems the boys are wanting to stop coming here as much, which I get because they have their own thing going on but I feel like they are being pretty harsh!!!
"His words were "I would never let them make that decision on their own... I would never do that to you"!!! Well after that, I haven't seen them since!!!"
After lashing out at her ex and his attorney for bringing up her past, she concluded by adamantly saying she can't be fixed and will "forever have trauma". She ended by looking at the positives, signing off: "Either way, I have a beautiful pool, a supportive husband, and 5 dogs."
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